Hogwash and the gibberish mute.

Domestic Goddi. Wonderland Review.

2010-09-29T17:15:00.000Z

Domestic Goddi were Finalists in the National Funny Women Awards 2009 and had sell out Edinburgh fringe shows in 2008 and 2009.

Their 2010 full length sketch show was very professional and nicely polished but lacked oomph. The three writer/performers are clearly talented and accomplished and the sketches are on the whole nicely written. However the sketches merely raised chuckles and smiles from the audience and were on the whole not laugh out loud funny.

The audio between sketches was well recorded and thought out but considering that this is their third show I’d hoped that they would try something a bit more risky or inventive. Occasionally the material was a little tired and one had the sense of having seen it before. In particular a sketch between two friends in which one was dressed in a bridesmaid’s dress and they were arguing over a chest of drawers smacked of...well smack the pony. Or Titty Bang Bang. Either way the audience could see the punch line coming.

A quiz show provided a decent setting for one of the most enjoyable sketches but unfortunately now that Mitchell and Webb have exploited Numberwang to the full, one has to really find a new angle to pull of a nonsensical quiz sketch.

Having said all that it was certainly a pleasant, if gentle way to spend an hour and the three were at all times professional and enjoyable to watch. It should be taken in to account that the show was on in the daytime and was not full and therefore it can be difficult to warm an audience up when they are stone cold sober! However even with a full house I’m afraid I couldn’t imagine this getting a laugh out loud reaction and neither did it make one sit up and think by being particularly original.

Comedy Review: Dylan Moran-What It Is

2010-08-27T15:14:00.000Z

Star and writer of hit comedy Black Books and timeless comic, Dylan Moran is also one of my favourite comedians never truly right without his glass of wine (and tea!) in one hand and cigarette in the other. His presentation skills and comedic style is a complete mixture of seemingly drunken slurred shouting, random ideas and fierce cynical wit which would never sound plausible until you listen to him for five minutes, then you realise not only is it possible, it’s hilarious!

Through his comedy tours, most recently called What It Is, Moran has grown in the public eye and deservedly so, his world-weary ranting about subjects of today, the evolution of technology and the battle of the sexes and most recently children and their mysterious ways never fails to entertain but also never depresses-conversely it only highlights the direness of situations and enhances their ludicrousness.

Listening to Moran’s comedy is basically watching a middle aged grumpy Irish git that is enjoying every minute of it; the thing that makes him stand out is that instead of listening to an age-old rant we have all heard time and again he takes simple everyday situations and breaks all his boundaries-some un- P.C. some completely unfounded whilst swear like a trooper and sipping demurely from his foster beer.

Another thing that makes me smile whenever I listen to Moran, he never ceases to stress how childish men are-citing himself as an example and the constant struggle he faces dealing with everyday life. Its’ heart-warming listening to a man who appears to be normal on the outside, yet give him five minutes and I guarantee he will force you, by wearing you down with his faultless logic, to take a second look at anything-and when you start seeing the world in his way it will be a brighter place.

London Restaurant Review: Zilli Green

2010-08-27T15:10:00.000Z

As a former vegetarian driven away by a chronic lack of quality and variety of meat-free dishes, particularly in restaurants, I approached Zilli Green with some trepidation. The 100% vegetarian venture from celebrity restaurateur Aldo Zilli, the Soho eaterie has drawn mixed reviews since it opened last year.

First impressions are good - lying just yards from Theatreland the exterior still looks refined, with a neat terrace and clean, bright decor. Inside, the menu seems to balance fresh and healthy ingredients in familiar, appetising recipes. The question is whether the food can deliver on this promise.

The starters we order - mezze and tempura - are certainly well prepared if reminiscent of a veggie starter at a dinner party; olives, pitta bread and hummus hardly justify the price tags. Happily the main courses offer quality and originality, as well as value for money. The chimichangas filled with sweet potato are delicious, and would be a welcome addition to any menu, vegetarian or otherwise. As a whole, the mains offer a range of classic dishes, from casseroles to burgers, at prices around the £10 mark, entirely reasonable for this part of town.

Dessert offers some ingenious twists on popular puddings, most notably a vegan tiramisu made with tofu. It’s a fitting end to an impressive meal from a restaurant that has received a surprisingly poor press. Well placed, reasonably priced and offering an inventive yet familiar menu, Zilli Green fills an obvious gap in the market for vegetarians that has long been overlooked.

An alternative to this would be a similar restaurant in Manchester they have equally high standards of food and service and is situated on Hollybush Gardens next to a clinic that does botox manchester. If you visit the clinic you will receive vouchers for both the Manchester restaurant and London restaurant.

Zilli Green, 41 Dean Street, London W1D 4PY

Tel: (020) 7734 3924

The Best Nightclub in London: Club 49

2010-08-03T13:12:00.000Z

For those of you who are in the hunt for the best nightclub in London, you can go check out Club 49. If partying and dancing is your kind of thing, this is the place to be. You can find Club 49 on Greek Street and you are sure not to miss it because of the great people line up at the door eager to get in.

Upon entering this club, you will be impressed by the classy feel of the place complete with a nice bar, leather and wooden seats and the great, unbeatable crowd. Club 49 is also a great place for a private party for a small group. There is a booking area at the end of the bar where you have your own bar and a dedicated staff. Table service is also available.

The cocktail bar is filled with social drinkers and great alcoholic drinks. You can try their martinis, bellinis, and daiquiris, among others. All hard drinks come with a fruit and a price tag of less than £8. Don’t be surprised that your Bloody Mary comes with celery. You should also try their famed mojitos. If you want a cool and fresh cocktail drink, you can try the cucumber and melon Martini. For those who want something fruitier, better try the Moloko Martini.

Exploring the club more, you can find a stairway that will lead you to a basement club that slightly resembles storage units with high stool and booths. The disco lights and the dance music will definitely get you on your feet. The music playing comes from a wide array of genres. The sound is not so loud so you can have a decent conversation while the music is playing. The clubbers definitely dig the music here and you can find them dancing with their hair down and partying their heart out. Come join them!

Zoe Lyons's Miss Machismo

2010-07-13T14:05:00.001Z

Zoe Lyons’s ready to stand shoulder to should with men. “Why should women be a step behind men all the time? When women can show off their machismo, why can’t women too?” This is the argument Lyons’s put across when she came to the Edinburg Fringe for the seventh time. One would have expected the audience to get bored with her humorous tale after listening to her for over six years but, if you think so, you are definitely in for a disappointment.

The Hut had been shifted from the Pleasance Courtyard to the Garden across the road, shifting its location away from the main road. This was done to accommodate the large crowd who came to listen to Lyons’s humorous talks. No wonder, people did not oppose this initiative. Lyons was herself not pleased with the small space provided for her show. The audience giggled and snickered all through her speech.

This lady has a unique style of holding the attention of her listeners. She is one of those very few persons who do not take their life too seriously and her attitude says it all. She related incidents of her life in such an entertaining and bitching manner that the audience could not help laughing at her sarcastic and lively remarks on life, love and leg vein treatment. Some of the people had never had a greater reason to laugh until they heard Lyon’s speech.

The entire atmosphere was filled with fun and her perfume. She seemed really surprised and happy in finding out that she ranked 81^st in the list of influential gays/lesbians of the United Kingdom. It came as a surprise or rather as an amusing info to her vast audience. All in all, make sure that you do not miss a chance in case you get one to listen to this lady.

Improvisation Course for Stand Up Comedians

2010-06-24T15:33:00.001Z

I recently did an improvisation course for stand up comedians which was led by the incredible ball of energy that is Rob Broderick. I’ve done character stand up for a while but have in the past felt a bit nervous about interacting and improvising with the audience, so I though it would be good to do. I did actually used to do a lot of impro but hadn’t done any for about four years (and even then the venues I played weren’t a lot better than Walthamstow flats and houses for rent) so I was definitely in need of a refresher! The course was made up of a mixture of people. Most were straight stand up comedians, I was the only character stand up (in my group) and there was another person from a sketch group. At first it was very daunting but Rob is a great teacher so instantly had us up diving in to stuff and "riffing"on numerous different subjects. The thing that makes this course different to most is that there is a certain amount of improvising alone as opposed to in groups or pairs. That was the scariest part but as a group most people were really supportive and we were a good audience for each other. I think the most important lesson I learned was that the audience become in effect your impro partner and it’s a good idea to encourage them and take what you can from them without making them feel too pressured. In the midst of the course (which ran at weekends) I had a gig and I did fell that the course really helped in my moments of interaction. Most importantly I enjoyed those bits more than usual and therefore the audience did too. I would really recommend this course if you’re a fan of impro. For those of you that haven’t come across Rob before he is an improvisational stand up and has recently found success with Abandonman, a comedy hip hop impro group. I’d say that they’re well worth seeing and it’s well worth doing the course if you do stand up comedy.

London Attractions - Places That Are A Must See

2010-06-11T12:17:00.001Z

In my opinion, London is one of the most fascinating cities around with it’s contribution to music, culture and architecture. It gives people a taste of both modern living as well as classical. But look out if you are looking to live here, East London flats and houses for rent can run up your living costs really very substantially. There are so many different attractions in London for tourists with below being only a few.

The Tower Of London

This is by far one of the most popular attractions in London. It carrys a certain history to it. It was constructed by William the Conqueror back in 1066 and was a place of residence once for the Kings and Queens of England. It was known at one time in the mid 16th century as the ’Bloody Tower"due to it being suspected of being a place of brutal murders.

Buckingham Palace

Owned by the Dukes of Buckingham, this townhouse is the main home of the British Monarchy. Wrapped by ornate, black wrought iron fences and gates it holds an excitement for many tourists. Every year, there are around 50,000 or more guests that are entertained here through parties, audiences, banquets and receptions.

Houses of Parliament and Big Ben

By far the most striking places seen at Westminster in London. Being the Houses of Lords and Commons and where national laws were made in the UK, many observe it’s glory. At the end of the Parliament houses stands the famous clock with its detailed architecture.

The London Eye

One of today’s most popular London attractions and part of the UK Millennium Celebration, The London Eye is the largest observation wheel in the entire world. It is approximately 450 feet high which gives tourists a fabulous view of London.

These are but only some of the many fascinating sites and attractions you will find in London. I was floored by these along with a few others I have personally had the pleasure to visit. London has so much to offer tourists and is why it is one of the most popular places for traveling.

Moody Ones

2010-05-28T14:04:00.001Z

Recently I boarded a London bus in a very bad mood (my job is calling heating oil suppliers day in day out, so that’s life for me). The bus driver didn’t help. He was miserable, quiet, and staring at me out the corner of his eye as I ripped the ticket off and walked away.

“Moody git,” I said.

The bus driver shouted “You what mate? What did you say?”

I stepped back. I really didn’t care he was even more in a mood. That was how much in a mood I was.

I said, “I said you look like a moody git is all, why do you lot always look so moody?”

He considered this while I considered it a good thing that there was a sheet of plastic between his moody face and mine.

Then he said, “OK smart ass, come in here for a bit and see what it’s like, then you’ll see, won’t you?”

The compartment wasn’t big enough for the two of us, and for a minute a terrible vision of me being forced to sit on his lap made me shake.

He stepped out and let me get in his seat. Other people who were waiting to get on moaned and said “what the hell?” and the bus driver told them to shut it, which they did.

I sat in his compartment for two minutes. Two minutes of absolute hell. It stank in there, as if someone had been beating meat (with a hammer, using cling-film on top of the meat) and then setting fire to bits of paper. I felt trapped, scared and altogether horrible in that tight space. And I was skinny! How had the twice-as-big-as-me bus driver endured it for so long?

I got out and said to the bus driver, “I’m sorry–I really am–It’s awful. I will never, ever call bus drivers moody gits ever again!”

He said “good.”

As I walked away I said, “you moody git” and he said, “I flippin’ heard that!”

The Wizard of Oz is great for young and old

2010-05-12T14:36:00.001Z

The Wizard of Oz is one of the best musicals I have ever seen. As a child I used to love watching the movie. See the tornado, house get lifted into the air and land in Oz, and being scared of the Wicked Witch. She should just sell house and get out of there! Now as an adult there is no greater joy then taking my children to see the musical. When going to see a musical for the first time the children have no idea what to expect. They are filled with anticipation for what is going to happen and all of the wonderful things they will see. The Wizard of Oz totally delivers.

First you are transported to the farm and see Dorothy with Toto. You believe that you are really there. You really do grow a great love for Dorothy very quickly. As the musical continues and you are eventually taken to Munchkin Land you are filled with such delight. Children young and old can’t help but smile from ear to ear as they watch the singing and the dancing. The colors on the stage are so bright and mesmerizing. When you first meet the Wicked Witch you are fearful. She is very convincing as being not very nice or inviting.

As the musical continues you feel as though you don’t want to leave your seat for fear of missing something wonderful. The sets are breathtaking, the costumes amazing, and the characters so convincing. You really do feel as though you are in Oz. This is a musical that you can go and see again and again and always see something new that you did not see before. There is so much to see that it is hard to catch it all at one time. You will want to see it repeatedly because it is a wonderful musical.

Show Me The Way

2010-04-28T08:52:00.001Z

All businesses understand that saving energy means saving money. Surely that goes without saying. Why, then, if that is true, are so many businesses wasting energy and money at a ridiculous rate? As if money and energy is going out of fashion, no less. The answer is simple and usually one (or both) of these things: 1) they don’t have enough time to do something about it and 2) they feel that doing something about it would take up too many resources. In other words, doing something about it would cost even more money than they are already loosing. And that’s not something they feel they can risk happening.

Hit the link and find out how Enigin, one of the energy-saving companies around who really do know what they are doing, show businesses the way.

This made me smile. How often is it that your read about an energy-saving company marching in to a business’s headquarters and giving a dynamic demonstration on how to save money? Not only that, but with a device that is proven to work time and time again. A device that can be implemented in a number of ways, and to great effect.

Now, if the article just said vaguely how the device worked then I would have been happy. But there was more! So much more. It almost boggled my mind, actually. A detailed break-down of exactly how it works, in fact. Now, with an argument like that, how can any business fail to get in on the act? Not only does it save them money without them having to employ more of their resources, but it helps the planet too!

Rejoice!

2010-04-10T16:16:00.000Z

There are some things in this life that can make a dull day brilliant; Cosmetic doctors in London are one, if you like that sort of thing. Londoners especially need their day being made brilliant, what with train strikes and general all-consuming busy-ness. Stories, in particular, is what I am talking about. Stories that make you forget about all the bad things and allow your mind to focus on the great things, the things that shouldn’t happen but somehow do. Dreams that really do become reality.

One such magical tale can be seen at the following link.

A horse, in this case. And not just any horse, no–But a horse bought in a lay-by. A horse with nothing going for it, you could say.

And he’s set to race the Grand National!

I know, I know, it almost brought a tear to my eye as well.

This is what is great about the BBC. As well as bringing us all the informative stories and important news from around the world, they bring us the stories of everyday folk (and everyday horses, of course). Where would we be without stories like this?

The best part of this horse story is that it is set to become a Hollywood film. OK, I am jumping the gun a bit. It may not, but it has been bought by a film company and so there’s a chance it could happen. And I hope it does happen, because this is the kind of thing that we all need. A bit of positivity in a world such as ours is magic for the soul.

Schooled

2010-04-08T19:44:00.001Z

You get an impression of people immediately whether you like it or not. You can’t help it, it’s just human nature. For example, if you and I happen to be standing on the street and I say to you “look at that sad looking dustbin man” you are likely to have formed an impression even before you turn your head. Then you look at him, and regardless of if he looks sad or not, the words I put in to your head will make him seem so.

Something happened in London, when I was eighteen, which changed my perception of dustbin men forever. Me and a friend were standing outside the university campus discussing something to do with philosophy – it was steadily turning in to an argument – when a bin man appeared nearby. He gave us a strange look, a look of doom (as they do), and then walked away with a bin. That was when my friend said “what does he know about philosophy?” And at that the bin man stopped abruptly, turned around and walked back to us. Then he stopped a foot away from my friend and folded his arms, and proceeded to enlighten us about philosophy. Actually it started out like that, but after two minutes a small crowd had formed around him and was clapping. We were being schooled by the dust-bin man–After he was done with that he schooled us on trends in Bedfordshire property and a number of other entirely unexpected things...

The moral is this: never underestimate someone. If they look like they have no idea, it doesn’t mean a thing...

A / B

2010-03-26T12:40:00.001Z

From Cosmetic surgery procedures to ’how to kill a shark’, conversations on the bus are like no other. I am convinced that if you collected all the people from the buses and tipped everything out of their brains, you would find the secrets of the universe.

Take this one:

A: “–My wife and I are having problems–I’m not quite–no–maybe I shouldn’t talk about this on a bus–”

B: “Don’t be ridiculous, nobody’s listening. If they are then I doubt it’s that interesting.”

I lost interest.

A: “No–But that’s the thing–It is interesting–Interesting and–”

B: “Yes?”

A: “–Wrong–”

I regained interest massively.

B: “So what is it?”

Some minutes of coaxing appear to prove fruitless, until finally A is worn down and gives in.

A: “My wife says I have found the Z spot–”

B: “–You what A?”

A: “I know–I didn’t have a bloody clue either–”

At this point my curiosity threatened to punch them both in the head.

B: “So what do you mean then, precisely?”

A: “Well–she says that it’s the opposite of the G spot–”

Silence for some time.

A: “Is that bad?”

B: “Um–It’s not really good”.

A: “I knew it. Our marriage is doomed”.

B’s silence seems to confirm this. But when he says, “I have a confession”, A’s head turns so abruptly that I almost get caught watching.

A: “Go on–what is it?”

B: “It’s as bad as you is what it is. My wife says I can find the Z spot too–I used to think she was making it up–but this–this proves it”.

And there it is, oh dear.

Humour And Its Dark Secret

2010-03-22T15:29:00.001Z

I loved treasure hunts when I was growing up. They were the thing I looked forward to above all else. And I have to admit I was pretty devious. I knew all the tricks, you see. One of my favourite tricks was to replace the real treasure with my rubbish treasure. It never failed! I can still see Jenny Finnegan’s face when she reached under the plant pot and found a gift wrapped up in golden foil–then her face when she unwrapped it and, instead of finding chocolate discovered a ‘gift’ from Barney, the dog next door–

The Barney incident made me a loner. The children didn’t get the joke (and looking back at Barney the Irish Wolf Hound’s enormous gift, I can see why).

Humour is strange, you see. And through the years people have forgotten that humour gives not a monkey’s for good taste, morals or the feelings of those it assaults. Humour really only cares about making people laugh: the point is that it doesn’t care how it does it, as long as the end result is achieved.

Clearly this presents a number of problems for the comedians of today; problems which the comedians of yester-year were able to laugh in the face off. Nowadays a comedian has to tread a fine line between pleasing his audience and not insulting them. To make it more complex, what constitutes an insult is different in the mind of every person. So, really, how can we expect comedians to not occasionally cause a stir?

Jimmy Carr has done it several times, and the Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand are also no strangers to controversy. But I think we need to keep an open mind with comedians in general. After all, it is only humour. Providing it doesn’t single people out, we have to always keep in mind that sometimes humour goes too far but should be accepted: accepting this will always be a problem comes hand in hand every time a comedian climbs on stage.

Too Much Tech

2010-03-18T17:00:00.001Z

Can there be too much of a good thing? I think yes. I once scoffed a dozen Yorkie’s (sick for the next day) and another time, when drunk, made the desperate mistake of downing three packets of salt and vinegar McCoy’s. I then tried to take in the beautiful smell of McCoys through my nostrils and it felt like I had instantly pickled my brain–

I’ve always been more of a food lover than a tech-lover. Gadgets aren’t really something I know much about. I know what a mobile-phone is, but I wouldn’t know what a Blackberry was if it smacked me in the face (I am told). Some people who know about gadgets, much more than me, much more than you probably (unless you are a serious geek), are Enigin. They are, in fact, smitten with the things, and at the following link you will find a whole post about a show in London that Enigin went to show their faces.

I like the fact that Enigin tell us where they are going. But I wonder how dangerous this could be for them–I mean, picture the scene: a slew of eco-geeks emailing one another with pure HTML and saying : “Enigin are going to be at that show, let’s mob them!” (Which might look like f0987rghdjkf --s--sdndj, I suppose: terrifying!)

OK, so maybe I don’t know much about eco-geeks (because someone just instructed me that even they wouldn’t use pure HTML), but one thing I do know is that as a machine, Enigin have not only their screws in the right place, but a pretty nifty engine. And for Enigin it’s more than just technology. It’s about how technology can be both fantastic and also how we can make it run more efficiently, affecting the atmosphere and our financial security less.

Profile of Stewart Lee: The comedian's comedian

2010-03-08T16:14:00.000Z

Stewart Lee has been writing and performing comedy for stage, TV and radio since 1993 when the successful radio show Fist of Fun was first aired with his double act partner Richard Herring. In 1995 Fist of Fun became the popular TV series of the same name on BBC2 and Lee and Herring won over a whole host of fans with their unique mix of silliness, anarchy and intelligence. Stewart Lee has gigged often and written prolifically since that time and is widely considered as one of the best stand ups alive in the UK. He is in fact known as the comedian’s comedian in part because of his technique of deconstructing and drawing out his jokes as he tells them. Many people agree that no one uses pauses and timing quite as well as Stewart Lee.

In 2002 he co wrote “Jerry Springer The Opera” which transferred from the BAC to the National Theatre and finally to London’s West End. It was a success however which brought with it incredible challenges as Stewart Lee was bombarded by hate mail and criticism from religious extremists among others. Thankfully he has since bounced back and after numerous brilliant and critically acclaimed stand up shows he was back on our screens with Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle on BBC2, produced by the comedy TV genius Armando Iannucci, the man behind The Day Today, Brass Eye, and Alan Partridge, to name a few. As you’d expect Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle was an original and edgy TV series which combined surreal sketches with pure glorious stand up.

Stewart Lee is a comedian who refuses to sell out and continues to take artistic risks, so that while he has the audience laughing in the palm of his hand he can flip the mood in a second to poignancy and contemplation. In his 2007 Edinburgh show Stewart Lee 41st Best Stand up Ever, he chatted about fatherhood and ended the show with a cuddly toy balanced on his head, a trick which he told us made his toddler laugh. It is an image which has remained with me ever since, and I think sums up that brilliant combination of the surreal, the whimsical and the slightly theatrical in his own inimitable way.

How does a online contest where the prize is a week of val thorens accommodation sound to everyone? Everyone should really enter, this would be such a cool way way to spend a bit of the winter.

Russell Howard: Quality Stand-Up

2010-02-22T12:49:00.001Z

Usually, comedians who attempt to tackle the more grim and sticky areas of life using stand-up routines consisting of nasty words, vile references and jokes that cause embarrassment to literally seep out of the TV don’t look or act like British comedian Russell Howard. And that’s what makes him different from the rest: every time he’s on stage he’s like a small boy in the head-lights; a boy with a cheeky grin, super excited about stand-up and always with something interesting to say. You don’t know if you want him to open his big fat mouth or not, but as soon as he begins you’re hooked, waiting to see what strangeness he’s going to come out with next.

But Howard is much more than only a luxury dirty-joke teller--he’s got all the bases covered, and if they’re not covered, then they’re picked apart, ridiculed, and put back together in a Frankenstein’s monster of silly unending brilliance. He’s at home talking and messing about with pretty much any subject—hopping about, miming his odd jokes without a hint of shame when most comedians would be happier somber-faced and barely animate in the centre of the stage.

Another reason you don’t forget Howard is his ability to see his own flaws as the audience does; instead of covering up for a mistake by acting as if it was part of the routine, he has a habit of owning up right there and then—simply because he doesn’t care. You get the feeling that although it’s all pretty much worked out, he doesn’t mind if it all goes wrong. In fact, he might well want it to go wrong, because when things go wrong the most fun seems to happen.

By the way, I just checked out the enigin design page and it is amazing! I really enjoyed reading all of the posts that were up there, I really recommend it to all of you.

Reinventing Knight

2010-02-22T09:15:00.001Z

Shout “I love Knight Rider” in the street and, providing there’s more than a few people about, you’re sure to get some kind of a response: someone is bound to scream in return “I love it too!” You might even get bombarded with hugs!

How many other shows can you think of that would get such a reaction? Not only might you hear terrible silence if you shouted “I loved Eldorado!” (if you haven’t heard of it you can consider yourself lucky–) you might well also end up in accident and emergency for the night–

Now the question of whether to continue the good old-fashioned story line or re-invent, the subject of debate at the following forum.

One of the trickiest questions ever, surely! They just can’t win, can they? If they perpetually carry on with the same old story then they receive complaints, and if they keep adding new characters and modernize everything they also come under fire!

So I propose this: why couldn’t they do both? Keep the original Knight Rider going as it was, all old fashioned and with that killer music, maybe even getting a brand new Michael Knight who bears more than a passing resemblance to The Hoff—or even ask The Hoff if they can use his face and CGI it onto a new body?—and also start a brand new Knight Rider, perhaps with Michael Knight in his old age (and use the real Hoff for this part, so I’m sure he’d agree because I hear he needs the money). After all, they reinvented Halloween, and that–well that wasn’t incredible, but it certainly brought it up to date and pleased a few people.

I agree fully with anyone who’s worried about the producers mixing together these two ideals: how can this make everyone happy? It can’t. The sooner the people with the power realize that, the sooner we can all be Knight Rider happy. Who knows, maybe other TV shows will take note?

An Alternative Choice at the ICA in London

2010-02-09T16:54:00.001Z

If music, exhibitions and art house film is what you are looking for in London there is no better place to go than the Institute of Contemporary Arts.

A short walk from Trafalgar square, the ICA is conveniently situated on the Mall opposite Horse Guards Parade and St. James Park. Regarded as one of the world’s most innovative institutions they organise a dynamic programme of arts, foreign film and alternative music.

A compact and innovative layout, the ICA houses two cinema screens, two galleries, a theatre, a pleasant reading room, a fantastic bookshop, and a café/bar with a hidden snug off to the side. During events the atmosphere friendly and vibrant atmosphere is a pleasure to soak up.

The cinema screens offbeat films that are considered art house, many of which is foreign cinema. Prices range from between £8-£10. On Monday’s all films are £5 regardless of whether you are a member or casual visitor.

Cinema goers are invited to treat themselves to the burger and a beer offer for £7.99. On producing your ticket stub you will be entitled to a choice of tasty gourmet burgers and either a beer or glass of wine to wash it down with.

The theatre stages plays and live music and although it is relatively spacious it is what music journalists refer to as ’intimate.’ Bands invited to play the ICA are generally considered art rock, though the standard is often good quality.

Random exhibitions are free to browse around and are changed on a fairly regualr basis. Needless to say, the ICA is an alternative venue for alternative people.

Sharon Mahoney Sends the Comedy Shop Laughing

2010-02-08T12:31:00.001Z

Sharon Mahoney is originally from Oakville, Ontario. Her career began when she was ten when she performed in an Alice In Wonderland production. She was a student of improvisational acting in Toronto in the early 1990’s, and by 1997 she became a member of the improv group named Spilt Milk located in western Canada.

She began doing street performances in 1999, and out of this developed her main acts the Ladder of Men, Miss Tallulah and Sharon from Canada.

Mahoney was a cast member in Quanta Costa a sketch comedy that ran in Australia which included an all-female cast. She then returned to Vancouver and began doing stand-up. In 2006 she was a part of the Laff Riot Girls competition and made it to the top three.

The reasons are not quiet clear, – although it could be due to their mistaken identity or national pride- but all Canadian comedians almost certainly joke about the fact that they are not Americans. Mahoney however has takes this phenomenon to a new level with a long story instead of just a few lines. The story set in an Amsterdam swimming bath, is cheerful and with pure professionalism. It however needs more crafting and sharpening to be able draw a few more laughs.

Mahoney also does performances dressed like a street clown named Miss Tallulah and focuses much of her material on her nationality, which limits her. It is even less prolific when she ventures away from Canadianism. Her acts also seem to always end in an expected way.

Although she may not be very spectacular, she can confidently deliver and engage everyone in here acts. Some of the unusually impulsive ideas that come to life in the quick set we were looking at could simply be put back into fair enough shape by focusing your eyes. For now though she is happy to enjoy her time doing street acts.

I think I have a solution everyone will agree upon for what we should sort out for Gillian’s pre-wedding weekend. Who would be up for a unexpected trip and putting up a bit of income on some three valleys ski.

A Brief Guide To London Nightlife

2010-01-28T13:01:00.003Z

Visitors to London are spoilt for choice when it comes to nightlife. You may have noticed from the map that it’s a pretty big ole town and subsequently has a big ole night time scene.

We all have different tastes and ideals when it comes to evening entertainment and London has something for everybody in abundance. The key however, is where to find it - thus I am here to point you in the right direction - well, if you’re looking for clubs and live music!

If you are one of the many mainstream swimmers, finding somewhere suitable in London shouldn’t be a problem. Head to Soho or Covent Garden and their are oodles of bars and clubs to choose from. If you’re wanting specifics, I’m sorry I can’t help you outright as it’s not my scene and to be quite honest, they’re all the same to me. Crap! Having said that, dance clubs Bar Rumba and The Borderline come highly recommended and though I can’t vouch for that personally, it does come from a reliable source, even though she’s usually of her tits.

If you’re looking for alternative bars and live music venues however, that is my domain. The infamous Camden Town is a vibrant and popular hotspot for such events and you can’t go far wrong with the Proud Gallery on Chalk Farm Lane. By day the Gallery is a photo exhibition focusing on film stars and music icons and is well worth checking out anyway. At night however, it doubles as a club and live music venue. The taste for stage talent here is eclectic, so it’s hit and miss what genre you get, but if you check out the listings on their website, you can do the relevant prelims. For pre-gig pubs, the World’s End right outside Camden Station is a good place to start,then move on to the Dublin Castle where you may also find live music in the dusty little back room. Though the bands here are mostly unsigned, the standard is often pretty good.

Likewise, the Enterprise, just across the road from Chalk Farm Station. There is always a lively, cheerful crowd in the Enterprise and the event organiers have a good ear for entertaining and talented bands. Bar Fly and the Roundhouse are also close by and normally host signed bands, though quality can’t always be guaranteed.

Another pulsating area for live music and alternative tastes, though there are also mainstream bars here as well, is Shoreditch in the central east of London. Shoreditch professes to have taken over Camden’s mantle as the place to be in London, and though it is very cool and has the right to make such claims, it subsequently drips with pretentious scenesters you just want to punch in the face..and I’m not a violent man! Still, there are some great hangouts and plenty of cool venues to catch a gig.

One of my favourites venues for live music is Hoxton Bar & Grill in Hoxton Square a short walk from Old Street tube station. The quality of gigs here have never been a disappointment, despite the occasioanal musical wannabes who quite frankly shouldn’t be allowed out in public, never mind perform! Still, you pay your money - usually around £10, you get what you’re given - usually a good night.

93 Feet East on Brick Lane is another cool venue, though can attract the pretentious scenesters I warned you about earlier. You’ll be able to spot them as they’re the ones who are trying to be alternative and dress individally - often 80’s, the cast of Hairspray or Dickensian - but ultimately fail because they look like each other. I can’t wait for the day when I happen across two girls with a clash of dressed just to see the horrified look on their faces. However, 93 Feet East also attracts people who know how to have a good time and I think you will too!

If you’re looking for Jazz, you can find it anywhere in London. Ronnie Scotts and the 100 Club around Soho are the most obvious, famous and subsequently expensive in London, whereas for between £8-$12 the Vortex Jazz Club in North London and the 606 Club in Chelsea are equally good value for money though you may need to make considerations for travel time and expens depending where you’re staying.

Alternatively, why not pick up some Jazz whilst you dine. The Arch Duke under the arches between Waterloo Station and the Royal Festival Hall offer great value for money on two and three course meals as does Viva Bacchus close to London Bridge underground station.

Wherever you go, whatever you do, have fun!

Alright everyone, I have at long last, been able to sort out what everyone is going to owe me for the Caravan insurance quote for our holiday this month. Please try and get this to me by Monday so I can get it worked out before we are ready to leave.

Michael McIntyre - Comedy Phenomenon!

2010-01-14T16:15:00.002Z

Unless you have slipped into a coma for the last two years then chances are that you will have noticed the cultural phenomenon that is Michael McIntyre! Like a snowball that gathers momentum rolling down a hill until it devours all in its path, or a rollercoaster whose track is on a neverending upward trajectory the rise and rise of McIntyre could be scary if he wasn’t so rib achingly funny!

Just four years ago Michael McIntyre was struggling to pay the bills and feed his young family, wondering whether to give up the comedy career that he had decided upon and join the 9 to 5 drudgery with everybody else. In a short space of time, however, he has gone from hero to zero, becoming the undisputed comedy king of Great Britain and surely it’s only a matter of time until he conquers the world!

McIntyre differs from the typical working class British stand up comedian, he saunters on stage with a penchant for pink shirts and sharp suits, without a hair out of place. He combines observational and physical comedy without the need to rely on vulgarity for cheap laughs. When he speaks his smooth, dulcet tones belie his solidly middle class upbringing in Merton, South London rather than belonging to traditional hotbeds of stand up comedy such as Liverpool or the East End.

It is this very difference that seems to have endeared McIntyre to the British audience. His first DVD, Live & Laughing, is the fastest selling stand-up DVD of all time in the UK and his follow up, Hello Wembley, was even more successful selling over a million copies to date; in the previous year alone this unassuming young comedian has performed to over half a million people live.

He now hosts his own show, Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow, on the BBC where he showcases up and coming comedy talent such as John Bishop and is a regular guest on shows across the spectrum. The future is bright for our favourite funny man and despite his new found wealth he has not forgotten the struggle that he had to go through: in December 2009, McIntyre cancelled a show only half an hour before he was due on stage when he learnt that he was about to perform before a group of debt collectors. A man whose principles are as solid as his jokes! Resistance is futile, join with the rest of us in applauding Michael McIntyre, the greatest stand up of the 21st Century!

La Casa del Habanos: A Night Owl’s Review

2010-01-06T17:26:00.001Z

If you are a lover of Cuban or Latin music and cigars then La Casa del Habanos bar should be your next stop when in Soho and looking for somewhere to go at night. Located on Wardour Street this bar is simply a delight to visit. The ambiance begins once you enter the bar proper as you will feel as if you are somewhere in Cuba. What you will see is warm colors of yellow and orange on the walls made of wood. All this becomes more pleasing as you listen to some really smooth Cuban jazz playing as an added but important element of the whole scene.

You can go ahead and choose from their very extensive list of cocktails including some new mixes and some classics. So you can try out their martinis or you may want to be adventurous and try their pineapple based Mojito. There is also a cocktail with a touch of tobacco.

If you are a cigar smoker then you should try out La Casa del Habanos’ stock of Cubans. They will even hand make one for you right on the spot. Keep in mind that licensing laws prohibits the smoking of cigars in certain areas so you will have to go into another room to enjoy your Cuban.

This is a stylish place and is also classy for a cigar bar. So if you want to feel and enjoy Cuban cool then spend a couple of hours at La Casa del Habanos, you won’t be sorry.

Before I go, everyone look at these Bespoke Packaging Boxes guys and tell me your opinions about them sorting out the CD case for the new band.

Black Candles and Patchouli Oil.

2009-12-10T17:07:00.001Z

Goth is an image that has never gone out of fashion. That is because it isn’t really a fashion; it is more of a subculture than anything else.

Love them or hate them, the Goths are here to stay for the foreseeable future. As long as there are people who have a fascination for the shadowy things in life, there will be darkly dressed individuals prowling our streets.

Even if the Goth Look is not your bag, you still have to respect them. It takes guts to be different and at least it makes life more interesting. How boring it would be if we all dressed in the latest designer clothes!

More work related news, I have finally finished the changes for the botox London webpage. I am a little conflicted how I feel about this one, any remarks!

A Bowie Fan

2009-10-20T15:28:00.001Z

I am a big fan of lots of different types of music but out of all the singers that I like my favourite has to be David Bowie. He has always been renowned for being ahead of everyone else and he has created so many different types of music. He is one of rock music’s great innovators.
Since David Bowie has created so many albums in such a wide variety of genres, it is difficult to say which are his best ones. He has dabbled in all manner of musical styles such as Glam Rock, Ambient, Drum and Bass, Folk and even Goth. There is no-one else quite like David Bowie and there probably never will be. Each record that he releases is a new chapter in his career. You never know what to expect from him.
I suppose that my personal favourites would have to include ‘Diamond Dogs’, ‘Low’, ‘Aladdin Sane’ and, of course, ‘Ziggy Stardust’. If you were to ask me about individual tracks then I would have to include ‘We are the dead’, ‘Hang on to yourself’ and ‘Subterraneans’.
In my mind, David Bowie is a true artist and one of our greatest songwriters. There are a lot of very clever musicians out there, but no-one with the same amount of imagination.
I have fixed the spelling on tattoo removal webpage. Sorry about that guys.

The Dojo - Learning Discipline and Awareness

2009-09-03T15:29:00.002Z

Being part of a dojo means being disciplined and alert. This is a place of technique and wisdom. People training in martial arts understand the true power of being disciplined in the dojo. Bowing is the first fundamental step of discipline. This is an act of respect and mindfulness. When in the dojo, students carry themselves as if they were in a place of worship. There is no socializing whatsoever. The only voice heard should be that of the teacher.

The dojo should be full of culture and include a set of written standards that is geared towards excellence only. When training in a dojo, a student is trained to be aware of his or her surroundings at all times. Usually, people walk around as if in a constant state of green light. In other words, they walk around on auto pilot. Training in a dojo teaches them how to be in the state of yellow light or simply aware of their surroundings at all times. It is in the case of danger that they then turn to the state of red light where everything comes to a stop and they are focused completely. This is what makes a true student of martial arts. Now if only people could be disciplined enough to sit down and write in their blog.

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Quick hogwash shout out to the people at colour graphics who went a little above and beyond when the roller banners order went wrong. Thank guys.

How I Build Residual Income, Writing to Enigin

2009-06-26T15:31:00.001Z

Being a stay at home mom has it's advantages. I also get to work at home and bring in some extra money into the household. Currently, I work on several different projects that bring in a natural flow of passive residual income. These projects include, my own business, writing and affiliate marketing.

My Home Based Business

I have been an Entrepreneur for over 7 years now. I quit my job back in 2003 and have not looked back. I can't say that I have been successful the whole time. It did take a lot of failures, trial and error and the ability to stay consistent regardless of the results. I have always had a dream to own my own business and retire financially free. I am still working on this to this day and have built my residual income up nicely.

Writing

I also am a freelance writer to generate some extra income. I mostly write for myself as a form of promoting my business, however, I also write for other clients. I enjoy writing whether it be for myself or for other people and it generates a passive residual income for me as well.

Affiliate Marketing

Affiliate Marketing is another source of income for me. I have a few affiliate networks that I am involved with and I promote their products (such as a anti aging cosmetic) and get a percentage of the sale (commission). This works really well for me as I do not like to keep inventory and have to deal with the hassle of shipping out products. I promote my affiliate links mainly through article marketing and through my blog. This works well as I enjoy writing. People read my articles or blog posts and click on my affiliate links. If it is something they are interested in, they buy and I make a commission on the sale. I target my traffic through keywords which only brings in people who are interested in what I am writing or blogging about and the affiliate product I am selling is relevant as well.

Enigin's Energy

This is a relatively new field to be working in, and I mention it because it is in its infancy still. There is a really good blog that you can read here by Enigin on the industry and how it works, but this is potentially a real money maker. I don't know too much about it, so I'll just point you in the direction of the enigin twitter for those of you who micro blog, and the enigin review.

Making an income from home has never been easier for me as my husband also works so I can take my time building my residual income. I really enjoy the free time I have to spend with my kids and having the ability to make money too.

Help! I Found A Pimple On My Face

2009-06-01T15:43:00.001Z

I have never been one to have a problem with acne or have ever had to use an oily skin cream on my face before. I guess I have always been blessed with that. I do, however, deal with dry skin occasionally, but that was more or less when I lived up in Massachusetts where the winters would get cold and the winds would get blustery.

It came to my surprise one day as I was looking into the mirror following my regular skin care regimen, that I looked on my face and on my cheek just below my eye was a big fat pimple laughing at me. This shocked me actually as it took me off guard to actually see one so big. Where did this awful thing come from?

It is not like I am a big chocolate or sweets eater. On the contrary, I would prefer some carrot sticks over that Hershey's bar. So I know the pimple did not come from that. Maybe it was stress? I have been under a little stress lately with my son completing the school year and things that need to be prepared for the following year.

No matter what the cause of this horrible looking thing that is clinging on for dear life on my face, it must go and it must go NOW! I began searching my local drug and grocery store for any kind of oily skin cream that would do the job. I didn't need long term results, as this is a one time offender, just something that would zap the life out of this little creature so I can get on with my life.

I finally found something, I don't recall exactly what it was. It might have been a clearasil product of some sort. Anyway, I applied it a couple of times and to my delight, within a few short days, that uninvited little pimple no longer sought residence on my face. It was such a relief.

Now, I joyfully look into the mirror each day to begin my daily skin care regimen as always and search for this obtrusive little fellow to only see a blemish free spot where he resided. I smile to myself as I realize that I won the war. I tuck away my little clearasil bottle for a possible future visit knowing that I am now equipped to blast away even the smallest sign of a pimple that might pay a visit to my face.

Next up, tales of my attempts to find good laser har removal.

Comedy Shows - What Are They Really About?

2009-04-08T17:55:00.002Z

Comedy is about making people laugh – whether it’s a sitcom giving you a look into the absurdity of someone’s supposed life, or a stand up performer that strikes you as funny, both aim to make you laugh, smile, be entertained and to come back for more. The name of the game is that – come back for more.

A Comedy show like Seinfeld or The Big Bang Theory don’t just give you slapstick, they give you a commentary on how modern life is, and what aspects of it are impacted by how people in general view them. The points brought up are usually relevant to today, but in such a way as to entertain you, not to make you feel unknowing. A comic episode about someone desperately trying to loose weight, going and having vaser lipo in order to do so with hiarious results - this could also be making an important point about our obsession with the way we look.

Hit shows like Two and a Half Men strike a chord with us as we all know at least someone one of the characters, bringing it that closer to home for us, the viewers. Yet all this fun and appeal leads to one thing and one thing only – come back. Watch us next week, when – we’ve all seen it. The ‘Why” is a little more complicated than just entertainment.

All these shows are products, simply put, used to drive up the value of the airtime of the show so the TV companies can charge others with higher costs for their advertising and product placement. Without these ads and sponsors none of the shows as we know them would be possible. Even more, during the show there is product placement. Whether that is obvious like them drinking cans of coke, or more subtle like them buying a certain companys caravan insurance during one of the episodes they are getting paid to use that particular brand/company.

So when we talk about entertainment, about comedy, we’re really talking about money, in its strictest sense. A writer’s strike for more royalties on digital products sold brought the industry to its knees not so long ago, and what would all these studios do if there was an actor’s strike? Well, we know what we would be watching more of – reality TV. Let’s hope it doesn’t ever happen.

Comedian George Lopez

2009-04-03T09:38:00.001Z

When it comes to finding a comedian who can do when heck of a Comedy show, then you are in luck as there is the one and only George Lopez. As a Mexican American actor and comedian, Lopez has become one of the most recognized Mexican-Americans within the popular American culture. From standup to his own hit television sitcom, this comedian has quickly become a household name. From ten year olds to eighty year olds, there probably is not a person out there who has not at least heard of George Lopez if they have not already found themselves addicted to his television show.

One thing that audiences must watch out for is the difference in his behavior on screen for his sitcom and the way he is in person for a stand up comedian show. When he is on the stage the George Lopez that his friends and family probably know the best comes out. Not afraid to use fowl language or push the envelope on racial issues, Lopez will let it all out and get a ton of laughs doing it. He will comment on everything from the latest cosmetic surgery someone has had, right through to the colour of your skin. While this is certainly not the entertainment you would want to share with your ten year old, his sitcom is a favorite among families everywhere.

This just goes to show how in tune with what the world wants in a comedian. George Lopez is able to go from raunchy to cute humor within minutes. This ability to be flexible is what has made Lopez a star and what will continue to keep him on the map. If we are all lucky enough we will be able to watch his career take off even more then it already has. From what can be seen from Lopez's career, there seems to be no stopping him and he will continue to raise to the top until he has conquered the comedic world.

Marcus Valerius Martialis: The Insult Comic of the Ancient World

2009-02-16T11:08:00.002Z

An Insult Comedy show is a relatively new phenomenon. It involves a comic making jokes about the audience and/or other comics, (usually during a roasting session). They don't have to focus on the other comics (lack of) talent, the scope of taking the mickey can be anything from what they've been doing in their personal life to the alegations in the local gossip rag about them having had plastic surgery. The genre may also cause the comic to take on an alternate persona, which ends up defining their career in general. Yucko the Clown and Triumph the Insult Dog are a couple of examples.

Yet, did you know that the ancient Romans actually had an insult comic of their own? His name was Marcus Valerius Martialis, and he was a poet who specialized in creating satirical epigrams.

Of course, don’t get me wrong. Martialis never went on stage and started insulting people. That type of insult comedy wouldn’t happen until our time. But he’s still considered the first insult comic because he was the only poet at that time who directed jokes at people directly.

In fact, if you look at one of his epigrams, you’ll see that he addresses his subjects by name. The poem then continues by Martialias insulting the person. And, even though the humor within the epigram isn’t very crass, it’s witty enough to draw a smile even now, thousands of years later.

One of my favorites is Epigram No. 43, (Book III). In this epigram, Laetinus is the subject of interest. Martialis tells him that he’s feigning youth because he recently dyed his hair. And now, he’s a raven, (despite being a swan before). Martialis warns that Prosperina, (probably the subject’s wife), knows the real truth and will eventually remove his mask.

Another epigram appears to address an issue that continues even today: whether or not a person who has oral sex before vaginal sex is a virgin. In this one Chiona is the subject of interest, as Martialis explains that the public believes she’s a virgin. However, to him, it’s her mouth that isn’t pure. That’s why he suggests putting panties over her face when she bathes.

The rest of his epigrams follow this same pattern, though there are some that get even cruder, (depending on how you translate the poem). Either way, if you have any interest in comedy, or literature in general, consider looking into Martialis’s works. Not only will you get a couple of chuckles here and there, but you’ll realize that ultimately the ancients weren’t much different from us.

D.L. Hughley - From Comedy to News

2009-01-26T11:04:00.001Z

D.L. Hughley is now displaying his comedic talents in a different format. Instead of the typical Comedy show, the comedian turned actor is the host of "D.L. Hughley Breaks the News". The new show airs Saturday nights at 10 p.m. on CNN. During the one hour program, Hughley offers his takes on various political hot topics. Most of what he covers are issues related to current events. So far, he's addressed the debate over whether gay marriages should be legalized, and presidential politics. Hughley uses his comedic skills to loosen up his studio audience, and viewers at home. The guests on his programs represent both sides of the issue at hand.

The show gives Hughley a platform to go in depth on controversial issues. And it gives Hughley's fans the opportunity to see the comedian in a new light. Hughley appears to be comfortable in this format. He has a segment in which he goes out and randomly interviews people, in a "man on the street fashion", for their opinions on the subject at hand. The management at CNN apparently thinks that Hughley is doing a good job. He was a correspondent for the special inaugural presentation of "Larry King Live."

D.L. Hughley first rose to national prominence when he landed the job as the original host of "Comic View", which aired on Black Entertainment Television. After that, he had numerous shows on HBO, which featured him doing adult themed stand-up comedy routines. Most of his routines were based on his experiences growing up in the South Central section of Los Angeles. He later had his own television show called "The Hughleys". Before he became a famous comic, D.L. Hughley worked as a telemarketer for the Los Angeles times. He was eventually promoted to a management position. That's when he met Ladonna, his wife. She was the one who encouraged him to take his humor to the stage.

The Simpsons - the simpsons never changed age, just stay the same! (review)

2008-10-27T11:33:00.002Z

There is one comedy show that stands out above all others and that is The Simpsons. Some are funny and some aren’t depending on your taste of course. But the one show I watched when I was younger and is still running would be The Simpsons. Everybody has heard of it at one point or another. It has been around for twenty seasons, which is very impressive and something I never thought would happen. Can you believe what has happened over the years with this ageless show? It’s like every season they never get a year older and that’s probably what works for it. Granted, there have been a few episodes where you have seen what would look like if they got older but they are mostly just stuck at the same age whilst kept up to date in terms of comic comentary to some degree.

You have probably seen and probably still are some games being made using The Simpsons. The ones I remember the most were on the good old Nintendo Entertainment System. There were actually three games in particular that I remember the most and they are as follows: Bart vs. The Space Mutants, Bart vs. The World, and Bartman Meets Radioactive Man. Granted, there was a PC game called Krusty’s Fun House, which was more based around Krusty the Clown, but it still counts as a Simpsons game. I’ve played them all as a young kid and they were very difficult, which can be a good thing if you like to have a challenge.

The show has run and has seen some highs and lows. From Season 13 to 17 I believe personally were some of the worst seasons for the show and I had to wonder if time was running out on this once great show. I guess for myself it had to do with interest and maybe that is what knocked it down a notch. Personally, up to Season 13 I had watched the show on a regular basis and always found some enjoyment out of it. I believe the last three seasons have seen it improve and has made a turn around.

Comedy or not, The Wrestling World needs a change

2008-10-22T10:57:00.002Z

The wrestling world needs to see some type of competition reform but in a different sense. When the Monday Night Wars existed, the winners were the fans because they had the choice to pick either the WWE or WCW. Now, TNA is around but is nowhere close to being a true competitor in the wrestling industry. The WWE is the current #1 promotion around the world and one that everyone knows. You do not have to take a coffee break to know that the industry hasn’t been as strong as it was during that period. No one is going to take the WWE’s spot but there does need to be another place for wrestlers to work to survive outside of the organization in the United States.

TNA however has to do a much better job in getting their product out there more as you do not ever see an advertisement about the upcoming Impact show or even one of their PPVs, which is supposed to draw some serious money. To my knowledge TNA isn’t a public relations company because of being backed by Panda Energy, a private company to say the least. The key for them is to not being something they are not but be something that people can look at and watch without thinking about being a WWE clone. If you look at it, it does seem as if it had become just that and maybe more. Is that something that TNA can afford to be? Not at all because competition is good for business and everyone wins as long as it exists.

The WWE should try and do more with their shows. Though Raw is seeing some talent go well and ECW is pretty much a development show for the other shows, Smackdown may need a bit of a change to help get it going as well. I would rather they cut down a couple more PPVs because having a couple months have two events in that same span is a bit excessive.

Will wrestling see some type of competition? I sure hope so but I do not know at this time. Anything can happen between now and then. Do keep in mind that WCW used to be the biggest competitor and the only one to ever give them a run for its money. The biggest reason for that has to do with the storyline of the New World Order being created. It was different and for a while was very successful. What was the downfall and caused the industry to be in the shape that it is in has to do with Time Warner and of course the product not being something that everyone would want to watch. Let us hope that new competition comes to past and does not make the same mistake twice.

Building a Team of Improvisers – harder than it seems

2008-06-10T15:53:00.001Z

Within the comedy circuit things are tough. People really want to perform, really want to be on stage. No one goes into it thinking that it is an easy way to make money. It is tough, competitive and there are hundreds of people eying up your Thursday night stand up or comedy slot. People are very replaceable and it is difficult to find forums to perform in let alone hang on to them. So when someone does all the work for you, sets up rehearsal space, hires a performance venue, and all you have to do is turn up and perform, you’d think that comedians and performers would be jumping and the chance. However, that’s is not what Sanchez Domigo has been finding.

Sanchez decided to set up his own improvisation group to train with, but also to build up to performing with as well. Team building turned out to be more difficult than he first thought, not because of the people but because it seems they don’t really want to come! Tuesdays with Sanchez as he called it was to be a chance for improvisers to come and play under the guise of directors that he thought wanted to direct, but at the point where it was all on, people started dropping out.

At first it was a couple of the improvisers. Sanchez said that this was to be expected, not everyone will make it to the session despite enthusiasm. He was most surprise when John Bird, one of the directors he was most looking forward to working with dropped out. Sanchez told the gibberish mute:

“I actually started the whole thing in a pub over a pint with John Bird even though I didn’t know it at the time. He said he wanted to direct more, and I knew I would enjoy working with him... I thought that he would be well up for it if I laid the money down and organised the performers, but it seems that already politics are getting in the way of having a good time. That is the most important thing of course, having a good time... the day it stops being fun is the day you should stop doing it. I think that he has pulled out not because his love for the work has changed, but out of some lack of confidence in his ability to own the work should he come and work with us. This is a shame, for him, for me, and for the improvisers that won’t get to work with him.”

“Tuesdays with Sanchez” will be performing with the London Comedy group Impro Jam at the end of the month at the miller pub near London Bridge.

Should the Games Begin?

2008-04-20T23:05:00.000Z

As the Olympic torch is making its controversial way around the world en route back to China, I have to wonder about the spirit in which these games will be played. It’s not uncommon to have controversy surrounding any particular nation hosting the games but this time I think that China ought to be displaying some humility that Asian people are renowned for, rather than sticking out their heads and saying that the protesters are in the wrong. As far as I was aware China had a number of “housekeeping” items it must act on as a part of being granted the Olympic games in the first place, and human rights was one of these very issues.
Tibet has been a human rights issue for a number of years, and the Olympic President is correct in saying that the games are highlighting the plight of the Tibetan people, but it’s not enough to highlight. The Olympic committee should be taking a tighter view of the “rules” they expected China to abide by and which are being so publically flaunted. China has no intention of making good on the human rights issue - this is apparent by the arrogant retorts they are making to the international press about the protesters stopping the flame.

The Olympic games is not an easy thing to take part in, it's not a set of treaure hunts that people only do in order to gain the 'gold'. It's about athletes, about honour, and about national pride, but I fear that these upcoming games is going to find that honour and pride cloaked in a cloud of secrecy, and fear of repercussions should the athletes say the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time. The fact that our UK athletes were told not to make statements regarding the political situation over there during the games is a testament to the fact that our Government cares more about China than it does human rights; both of those in Tibet, and the British athletes who ought to be able to exercise their right to free speech. The fact that our Prime Minister isn’t making a stand and saying that he won’t attend the Opening Ceremony as a formal protest is despicable. As the leader of a nation where the people have a right to free speech he should be making a stand by not turning up – although it’s understandable that this is likely to be the biggest ceremony he’s likely to attend as a “head of state” and so he won’t want to give it up! How ironic that the once mighty British who defended the underdog are standing by without a murmur whilst the face lift needing French we so often condemn for their past history during the world wars are standing up for what’s right.
The Olympic Games is about the athletes but unfortunately the politics get in the way. I don’t advocate cancelling the games at this stage because that isn’t fair on the athletes who have trained so hard for their chance to compete at this level, but I do think that the rest of the world should be uniting to boycott as much as China as it can as a protest for the way they have conducted themselves once they were granted the games.

Impro Jam – where you’re the star!

2008-03-27T16:44:00.004Z

I’ve discovered a new improv comedy show called the London Impro jam. The first half is like any other impro show, the audience shouts suggestions and the improvisers have to make it up for their amusement. This is where they then kick it up a notch. The group then invite members of the audience to get up on stage and improvise with the professionals. Sounds scary? Well it would be if they didn’t have a solid structure in place that holds it all together and ultimately makes you look good!
There are 2 directors who guide the whole show, an MC who is on hand to help, and you get to choose which of the improvisers you work with, which means you can pick the one you like the most.

Last month they ended up with the most bizarre storyline. It began with someone at a computer searching for botox injection Birmingham. He decided that he needed to something about his looks, and the current acne treatment he was undergoing just wasn’t doing enough for him. It then got really surreal, as he went on this mad mystical journey through time and space on a search for the ultimate ‘nip and tuck’. It was amazing! Eventually he had chin remodeling in london and everyone lived happily ever after. I know it all sounds surreal and strange, but it really was one of the funniest things I have seen in a long time.

The Impro Jam’s next show is tomorrow night. They have a group called Grand Theft Impro performing. Grand theft is headed up by a guy called Alan Marriott who trained Eddie Izzard. There is also a guy called Phil Whelans who you might recognise from Brasseye. It promises to be a great show, so for any of you readers who are free, go to their website www.improjam.co.uk and check them out.

Tackling Binge Drinking

2008-02-04T11:10:00.001Z

Now that the Christmas season is over, many politicians are crying out about the dangers of binge drinking. On New Year’s Eve, the London Ambulance Service reported it busiest night since the Millennium. Gordon Brown, Britain’s Prime Minister, has made it his personal crusade in which to tackle this scourge on modern British society. And not just the usual suspects of children are being targeted, but the whole of the country is coming under scrutiny.Many solutions have been proposed. Increasing the tax on alcohol has been one, and would probably work to discourage underage drinking. Drink free zones could also work in establishing safer areas in public.However, there is an underlying problem in British society that needs to be tackled. Why are so many people drinking, and in such great quantities? The glamorisation in the media can only attribute to so much of the problem. Binge drinking is something that runs a lot deeper than what can be cured by a political quick fix. For if the government is really serious in tackling the drink problem in Britain, it will take a lot more that just a committee to come up with the answers. On a positive note.Stephen has completely redesigned the oak masters page

South Park Is Brilliant!

2007-09-12T12:59:00.001Z

South Park is brilliant! It is one of the funniest cartoons I have ever watched. When it first aired it was ground breaking - it took awhile for many of the viewers to get used to the unique style of animation, but those who did have never looked back. With storylines that go from beautifully mundane to completely bizzare and outrageous, south park does nothing if it doesn't push boundaries and sometimes say the things that people are thinking but no one feels they can actually utter out load. It is these things that south park shouts from the roof tops by broadcasting them accross the western world!
I bring you here a wonderful example of south park at its best. In this episode a surprise character becomes an alcoholic. He believes that it is a disease, whilst the programme repeadedly insists that it is not, you just have to stop drinking!
"Cancer is a disease... you just have to drink less"
Enjoy. I know that the gibberish mute loved it! (though hogwash decided that cartman needs some serious smart lipo doing. That boy really did eat too much pie)

Good Morning!

2007-05-25T09:44:00.001Z

Good morning world!! Ah it's a beautiful non-english day, and ironically that's exactly how we english like it! We don't like it when its cold, we don't look to the cloud covered sky and say "what a beautiful grey!", we don't relish the rain! No, what we all want is to be living in Spain... And this morning thats exactly what it feels like. The sun is shining, its been a warm night promising a warmer day, and there isn't a cloud in sight. Yes, it's a positively great start to what should be a beautiful day... And to top it all off.... it's a friday!!!

So chin up everyone, today's the start of the weekend, and its going to be a good one!

There is a perlane injections clinic which specialise in reducing the signs of aging and getting rid of wrinkles and stuff. Well, our work have decided to give us all a discount if we go to it to make ourselves all beautiful! Daniel reckons his lady Courtney is dead interested in using his discount. He seems happy with this... I wonder if that means she's not the most attractive of women...!?!?

2007-04-10T13:21:00.000Z

Time to give Charles the credit he deserves

In a recent interview Prince Charles said that he had faced a “chorus of ridicule” over his campaign to product rare native breads of cattle, sheep, pigs and chickens. Given this is the same prince who were called “eccentric” for talking to his plants 20 years ago when we was campaigning that organically grown crops were much safer than mass farming, you have to wonder if Charles really is as “odd” as the press likes to make out. After all, the test of time has proven that Prince Charles was right with attitude towards organic farming – and he has done nicely – financially - out of it. So, who is to say that he may not have yet another valid point here?

For decades we have called Charles all manner of names for his sideline views, but given the almost daily news stories that we receive these days about the dangers associated with modern farming, we should not be quick to judge Charles’ obvious passionate views of traditional British farming and his campaigns to preserve such. After all, the alternative is to read stories about another bird flu outbreak at a mass farm chicken farm. I know which of the two I would prefer to be reading, so let’s give Charles the break he deserves: the time has come to give Charles the credit he deserves.

Good news on the work front.Brett has completely re-designed the glycolic acid peel uk pages

2007-04-02T09:21:00.000Z

Paris Hilton the super spoiled super-villain!

Ok, so everybody heard how Paris got pulled over for driving under the influence! Her license got suspended and she had to pay a fine. Well, now she’s at it again, she’s driving with a suspended license! Which is… in her terms ‘kina, totally wrong!�… she was pulled over again on Tuesday caught with the license in question, and theoretically, underline theoretically she should face three months of jail. A spokesperson for the prosecutor says:

"We are confident that we have sufficient evidence that her license was suspended at the time she was driving and that she had knowledge of that suspension."

Paris Hilton in jail is indeed my chilhood dream! But that is something so unlikely to happen that I hardly dare write about it! Still I’ve seen people make fire using ice! And comminism is almost extinct! And I swear the future can be predicted! So, why? Why can’t this little devil of a detail – Paris Hilton, in jail where she belongs – come true?

Ow on a work front. This is what I’m going to change next the glycolic peel uk page

2007-04-01T19:31:00.000Z

Sex Sells â�� Even When itâ��s Safe!

Durex’s new campaign looking for volunteers to test its condoms has to be one of the funniest news articles I’ve read in a while, but there’s a serious side to all of this. Testing? Does this mean that they aren’t 100% safe, or just that they aren’t sure if they’re 100% enjoyable? Either way, it doesn’t sound a very pleasant prospect for women - just what we need, more pressure for having sex – pity they didn’t come up with a cure for stress and tiredness, that’s the real thing that would cure the bedroom blues!

It is encouraging however to see how seriously Durex is taking its public testing, hoping to get 5,000 people to electronically send in their opinions of their products. The cynical side of me however wonders how much of this is really a public opinion quality control issue, and how much of it is a great marketing idea! I’m definitely leaning towards the marketing theory because it’s quite brilliant really – especially if it provides good feedback in the process. It’s a win-win situation for Durex!

In a culture where top beauty manufacturers make claims of super results in their commercials, and yet small print at the bottom of the TV states that they tested a tiny, tiny proportion of women in order to create these statistics, Durex is certainly over-achieving as much as some of the participants in its scheme will be!

On a more positive note.Adrian has finally re-designed the uk cosmetic surgery clinic part

2007-03-31T11:21:00.000Z

The perfect job?

In a job many young Brits might consider to be the perfect job for them to apply for, Durex have announced that they will start a UK recruitment drive for 5,000 people to test their condom products. When the trial was first started in France, Durex received 14,000 applicants on the first day - which is three times as many people as they're currently looking for!

The job of being a Durex condom tester applies with all EU laws regarding non-discrimination, as Durex have said that they want people from all ethic backgrounds and sexual orientations to apply for the job. All that is required is that the successful job applicant report online how much they enjoyed using the Durex product. However, the job advertisement does seem to be silent on whether or not you are required to give your real name, and no mention of how much you'll paid for this highly sort after job is provided either. Neither of which is likely to make this any less of stampede of applications than was the case with France.

Ow on a work front.Janie has finally re-designed the horse insurance UK pages

2007-03-28T17:05:00.000Z

Hilary Duff is not grown up yet

In a desperate attempt to seem older, and simulate a minimal amount of class, Hilary Duff showed up at the 18^th annual GLAAD media awards wearing a dress, that didn’t really suit her body. It looked as if she was a five year-old who plays with her mother’s close. The neckline on the dress would look very nice on someone who, let’s put it this way, is old enough to have boobs! The biggest mistake Hilary ever made was to lose her baby fat. I mean, that’s what made her cute. Now it’s wrong! It’s just wrong! There’s nothing natural about her left! She lost all the shapes that she barely had anyway, lost the innocent sweetness, and all that remains in a sad excuse for a badly dressed, underfed child, lost around Hollywood screaming for her mommy, to come help tie her shoes! Poor little Hilary, don’t worry, you’ll grow up someday and be a gorgeous woman. Some day… in the future!

Ow on a work front.Ann has redesigned the horse insurance UK part

2007-03-28T16:15:00.000Z

Combat Bullying – Teachers Need Active Support from Government!

Bullying is back in the news where it belongs – out in the open! One of the problems we have in this country is that bullying lives in shadows, inflicting fear on the victims not to report instances, and in the fear of the schools who need to step up to the mark and say “Not in my school!� and mean it. All these reports are very well, but the MPs are not the people living the life of teachers who need to take a tougher line with bullies, but how can these teachers take a tough line when they themselves are already afraid of encountering violence from pupils?

One measure outlined in the new MP report is that the pupils will suggest suitable punishments for the bullies. I’m not sure what they hope to gain by that. Are they hoping to empower the bullying victims? How? By making them publicly admit that they were bullied and perhaps have to describe what was done to them? Isn’t that similar to allowing a rape victim in the courtroom be verbally violated by the rapist’s defence counsel? Far better the State step in and issue mandatory procedures that all proven bullies will have to comply with.

The second named measure in the BBC’s report states that all instances of bullying should be reported – but rather than stand behind what should be a common sense suggestion, the government thinks this is too bureaucratic for head teachers to manage. Hmmm. Doesn’t this really mean that as long as the government doesn’t have to deal with the real bullying statistics face on, it can ignore how much of a problem this is? Too many bullies are getting away with their actions because the schools have had their hands tied by government red-tape as regards disciplining pupils, and now the government is saying that it’s too much work to report all instances of bullying – what kind of message is that sending? Sounds more like a case of government “buck passing” than “zero tolerance” to me!

At last progress on the site.Teresa has finally re-designed the hair removal clinic page

2007-03-27T10:40:00.000Z

Victoria Beckham is starting a book club

Well, well, well… Victoria Beckham has really run out of activities! She decided to start a book club, with her friends Katie Holmes and Jennifer Lopez. The meetings of this Hollywood book club will take place once a month and will be held at members houses and regarding the level of culture I’m gonna suppose that the first book they discuss should be the ‘ABC’. That is unless they just confuse books with magazines and stare at the pictures for hours. I mean this is former spice girl I’m talking about who admitted a while ago to never having read a book in her life!

On their forth of fifth meeting they’ll probably reach a higher level, and discuss the very popular children’s book ‘Green Eggs and Ham’. But I can bet that before the meeting is over, they’ll all admit the book was to hard and that they’ve watched the movie! Victoria, sweetie, a book club implies a certain level of sophistication, and a little knowledge of literature, none of which I think you posses!

Good news on the work front.Carolyn made the suggestion that I change the home information packs pages

2007-03-26T10:54:00.000Z

Well I’m Wembley-Whelmed!

So the new Wembley Stadium is FINALLY completed and undergoing its safety certification checks. Forgive me if I’m not chanting “Go Wembley” from one of the 2618 public toilet facilities but I think that £800 million to create one arena where thousands of people can pay mega-amounts to watch overpaid footballers and singers perform is a big much.

We have a huge number of homeless people across the UK � what could a tiny proportion of that £800 million have meant to the organizations who are trying to help these people get back on their feet. Oh don’t tell me that they are there because they’re junkies and alcoholics – maybe back in the day that was true, but these days often the difference between them and us is a 1% interest rise on our already over-inflated mortgages! Many of our country’s homeless need no more than a little financial help with a bit of human compassion and support to help them back on their feet. Similarly, we say we can’t improve our health service ……or our education system …….But if we must spend this money on sports – why not give our athletes, and the new generation of athletes that will take their place, better facilities and trainers so that the country as a whole can benefit from the money through national pride as more of our athletes compete and win on a level playing field with countries who really take care of their athletes.

The new Wembley stadium is all very well and it looks pretty as stadiums go, but for what it’s cost – and the ridiculous time it took to build - it ought to. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t have a high quality sports stadium in which to host international events. I just think that in a country where so many projects that would benefit more people are crying out for cash, it was too high a price to pay for what’s basically a posh football field!

On a more positive note.Bobby has finally redesigned the glycolic peel birmingham page

2007-03-21T15:40:00.000Z

Ordered Out from Behind the Veil

Finally a step towards clinging onto what’s left of our British culture has been taken. The powers that be have decided that pupils won’t be allowed to wear the full face, niqab veil. It’s about time! I’m all for equality, and for freedom of religion, but there has to be a point where religion cannot be allowed to override the culture of a country where that religion is not the standard religion.

In many Muslim countries it’s against the law to practise another religion never mind wear garments that spotlight part of its followers by making them dress in a veil that hides all but their eyes. I appreciate that the Muslim religion doesn’t trust its women to make sensible choices, and therefore requires them to hide their bodies, but they live in a country now where this is not really acceptable behaviour. There are plenty of other countries out there who applaud the use of the niqab to keep a woman in her place, but this isn’t one of them. If I were to visit a predominantly Muslim country, I would be expected to wear a veil to cover myself up appropriately, and I would do so willingly because I would respect the laws and culture of the country I’m in. I’m not sure why Muslim people in the UK Think that they can dictate the rules of their homeland in their adopted country. It’s way past time our Government took a stand on issues such as this one.

Our children go to school to learn social skills as well as educational ones. How can they communicate with someone who has restricted physical communication? How can the veiled girls learn to communicate back in a way that their peers communicate – with non-verbal facial and body language? There’s a fear that once the girls are allowed out of the veiled life, they will start to wear inappropriate clothing – well who’s going to buy the clothing? There are plenty of options. If the parents of these girls maintain authority over their children, then they can dress their girls demurely but appropriately for the country in which they live as well as satisfy their religious teachings.

I think however that the ruling needs to be a little more forceful and say that the niqab is banned in schools completely. This means that neither pupil nor teacher can wear it. If a Muslim woman wants/has to wear it, then teaching isn’t for her. A child should find a teacher approachable, and the full veil says “stay away” not “come here”.

Yes there’s a chance that some Muslim girls will act out if they are allowed out of the niqab, but that’s not the fault of taking away the garment, but rather a lack of discipline where the child thinks that the veil stops them from doing something rather than themselves. Non Muslim children learn right from wrong, they don’t need to be put into a fabric box to remember which is which!

On a positive note.
This is what I’m going to change next the horse insurance page

2007-03-21T12:14:00.000Z

Flying BA is More Horrifying than You Think!

Paul Trinder drifted off to sleep, nice and cozy in his First Class seat on British Airways. The trip took a sharp turn for the worse a few hours later, however, when he awoke to find himself sitting next to a corpse.

An elderly passenger died in the coach section of the plane not long after takeoff. The flight crew, stymied as to what to do with the body, moved it to First Class, where there was more room.

"The corpse was strapped into the seat but because of turbulence it kept slipping down on to the floor," Trinder recounted. "It was horrific. The body had to be wedged in place with lots of pillows." Furthermore, the woman was traveling with her daughter, who wailed with grief for the rest of the flight.

I had thought that I had had some horrifying experiences with BA myself, thanks to the ridiculous hand baggage restrictions, but this story truly takes the cake. This could possibly have been the first flight in history where I wouldn’t have been insanely jealous of the posh seating in First Class!

Good news on the work front.
Well this is what I'm going to change next the cheap pet insurance pages

2007-03-21T12:00:00.000Z

Legal Eagles Fight for Financial Freedom

So the legal profession isn’t happy about the new reforms which from April mean it will get paid by the case instead of by the hour, oh dear, how sad. I can quite understand their position however, why would anyone want to be paid a standard case rate when they can drag out a case through the courts and make many times that amount? They can take as much action as they want (wonder who they’re billing for that!) but this has to be one of the best reforms that I’ve seen this government propose. It actually looks like it might even …dare I say it…. Make sense!

According to a BBC article, some lawyers say that this reform is going to drive down standards. Why would this be? Is it possible that lawyers can’t work at the same level of efficiency as the rest of us? Or is it just more likely that they don’t want to get out of bed for less money than they’re used to.

From my average person’s viewpoint, this reform should speed up our legal system and not jam the courts with petty cases that could be best served with out of court settlements. If both sides of the case are in a legal aid situation, then both sides of the legal counsel are going to want this wrapped up as soon as possible so that they aren’t taken away from cases where they earn what they’re used to.

The down side of this is where a situation arises, and it will arise, where a legal aid solicitor goes up against a private paid solicitor. The solicitor with the client who is paying the going rate is going to be able to bury the legal aid solicitor in such much work that it will put smaller firms out of business.

Come on now legal reformers, you’ve done a great thing here, but now you need to finish off what you’ve started. Protect the solicitors who are going to still take the legal aid cases against abuse when they are up against a non-legal aid restricted courtroom opponent. You’re almost there – just that one little step and you’ll get something I never that I’d issue to this government, a written gold star!

Good news on the work front.
Check out the new design on the non surgical treatments london pages

2007-02-28T16:30:00.001Z

Second Hello World

I think I'm going to start every day saying hello to the world.

2007-02-28T16:30:00.000Z

Second Hello World

I think I'm going to start every day saying hello to the world.

2007-02-28T15:17:00.001Z

Second Hello World

I think I'm going to start every day saying hello to the world.

2007-02-28T15:17:00.000Z

Second Hello World

I think I'm going to start every day saying hello to the world.

2007-02-25T12:42:00.000Z

Brad and Angelina are getting another brat

When will the baby insanity end? Brad and Angelina want to adopt a Vietnamese boy, and have already filled the adoption papers. Does this woman need to have a collection? Beware kids, next she’s gonna want one from his parents, as a new item… ‘I have a kid of my own, a bunch of abandoned ones, and now I want one from a loving family!� Yeah… she’d probably like that, she really enjoys wrecking families! Angelina, you’re beautiful, but quite vulgar! On the other hand, Jenifer Aniston was beautiful and had class. But what can we expect from pretty boy, Brad Pitt?

Angelina, I know you have a passion for collecting … human beings, but be aware that they will grow up some day and escape… And they’ll probably kill you! On second thought… Keep it up! Don’t give up on your dream! Yeah… Even though you’ll fill the world with spoiled brats, at least the world will be rid of you!

Finally we have had progress with the website.
This is what I'm going to change next the non surgical treatments UK pages

2006-12-21T13:23:00.000Z

Barhumbug

It hough this was funny it's a email from from dps.

Hello, hello, hello

Just to let you know that I have as usual donated the money I'd've spent on your Christmas cards to charity - two this year - Save the Children and the Environmental Investigation Agency. These gifts will help more children survive crippling poverty; giving them a good start in life before they go on to be mauled to death by the burgeoning tiger population, also made possible by my donation.

Just so you have something to cut out and keep, here is an unfestive picture of my Gloomy Bear and Pity.

Wishing you all a gluten free Christmas and new year.

Lots of love

Dps xxx

Ow on a work front.
This is what I'm going to change next the non surgical treatments UK page

2006-12-04T12:40:00.000Z

Keith Johnston Course

Well what a dream come true.
I am actually get a chance to study with the Keith Johnston He is like totally my hero. The guy who created imrpo. This is really really amazing. I'm not sure how old he is now, but I was really scared that he would die before I would ever get a chance to meet him. If I can just have a political debait with Noam Kombsky and sleep with the girl out of Amerlie. Then I will die happy.
Very Very Happy.

Finally we have had progress with the website.
Jenny has re-designed the equine insurance page

2006-10-16T11:26:00.000Z

Jimmy Carr, photoshop tutorial

Want to learn Photoshop? Hate the comedy stylings of Jimmy Carr?

Then this is the perfect tutorial for you. Basically this is a very simple image alteration that has been done using layers. Basically what I have done is download a image of Jimmy Carr and imported it into photoshop. Now I have create a second layer, then using the selection tool I have defined a square box under Jimmy's mouth. Then what I have done is I have taken the paint brush tool, picked a nice brown and drawn some crap coming out of his mouth. Now I have created antoher layer as a duplication of the poo layer. Then go to the layer that is slightly futher down then recolor the brown to be a black colour this will give the crap some kind of depth and dimension. I have alos hand editted it to have a couple of little dashes.

Why not try this yourself.

Finally we seem to be progressing with the site.
Well I've totally finished the facial redness part

2006-09-26T12:13:00.001Z

Anyone can make it in Metal!!

I went to a public house with some of the guys the other night. We heard there would be a couple amazing starting out band doing a gig there that we really needed to see. This bloke has exactly the same taste in music as me, so I was really excited about to watching these lads play. I thought my evening was going to be fantastic when I initially strolled in. All it takes is a glance and you can determine if the crowd consists of "your people", you know?

It was obvious these were my kind of people and not a bunch of teenie-boppers. I could hear the music playing and the heavy guitar riffs. I was nearly going to take off, though, when the vocalist started going at it. I mean, a couple singers seem to think this style of music is just regarding screeching. That makes me go insane. Screaming great, do not get me wrong. It needs to be done the correct way! In fact, I have respect for the lads who can get it right seeing as is not something just anybody can do. To sound professional, the vocalist has to know how to do it right and have his timing sorted out. I would rather have no screeching at all than to listen to it done poorly.

Well I better get on and do something worthwhile. I am learning XML stuff for the next release of eshot. They are dedicated to make this the leading email marketing software avialable, well they are using the royal 'they' , they mean us lot. I though I had finished, nevertheless no then someone dream up another way we can improve it.
Norman's oakedoake website is all updated, so I'm just waiting for another job to be signed off. Tony wants to see if he can upgrade it to the point where he can find reason to buying a even more stupid server!!! Damm techno junky!! god knows what crazy thing it's going to do now. I don't think, I am not goign to be assigned to the amazing super fun project they use to motivate me. Not that I'm bitter.

Well, I suppose it is kind of sad, but I miss the days of visitor comments, except from every 20 seconds the 'be a man in bed' bit. Back a couple of blogs ago, I used to be able to discuss, my musings with visitors. Now it seems so quiet! Anyway please feel free to take a minute and discuss between yourselves.

2006-09-26T12:13:00.000Z

Political musoos: Ministry

When I got in today I went through my old CD collection and got out a old Ministry album I had forgotten about: �House of the mole'. I am sure I know, this cD debuted shortly after 2004 began and Ministry and isn't the latest of CDs put out by the group, but I believe it is one of their best CDs. The main reason this one is In my preferences is considering it caused such a political stir and pissed a couple many people off.
Because Houses of the Mole was released in 2004, it was perfectly timed to coincide with the Presidential race in the United States of america. It was bush bashing in it authentic form, it's so obvious when you read the song lyrics. If you incredibly pay attention to the CD, you will see that all of the songs except the before any one one and the hidden track begin with the letter W. What completely shocks me is that so many people were infuriated with Ministry for putting out an album that made a political statement. Those who were angry concerning the CD felt Ministry should concern itself only with its music and Avoid politics. This Feels insane me. After all, this type of music is all about stirring up controversy and making political statements. How could anybody claiming to be a devotee of this kind of music get angry just because they don't agree with the political statement it makes? True fans of this kind of music would never turn their back on a band for being controversial.

An old project has a got a brand new least of life. A big old mess of gifs and ASP, that I like to call First for HIPS! It's an online home appraisal system which is in line with all the Home Inspector stuff that's going on at the moment. The underlining idea was always simple put simply New legislation means that home sellers will have to produce home information pack . So the system was designed to address this issue. Everything is complete online and is made incredible simple. Now all we need is a brilliant marketing plan.

Quick total now been waiting 66 days for the money to come!

2006-08-20T18:46:00.001Z

Soft Punk.

Yesterday, I got to listening the american idiot CD by Green Day and felt myself feeling the exact same way I always do when I listen to the band. I did not know Green Day when they were still a underground punk band, nevertheless I have was fond of them because their Dookie album came out. I was fond of this CD, which was their very first with a major music label. It has always troubles me that they are called a punk band. Now, I've never heard their music from before the release of Dookie, so I don't know how Green Day used to sound. Still, i've heard lots of of their songs and me do not feel it is awfully Punk Music. I can't deny that their music is full of angst, has simply instrumentation, and includes nasally vocals. Each of these is a fundamental part of punk. If that is the only requirement of punk-music, however, Slim Shady would also be called a punk rock artist.

I can not believe that Green Day is a punk band. The American-Idiot CD is proof of this. This CD is in my album collection and I do enjoy listening to it sometimes. Yet, it isn't my idea of punk rock. If I'm in the mood for punk, I pull out one of my Albertos Paranoias, Crass, or Misspent Youth albums. With these Punk bands, I get the anger and the crazy fast beats punk-music is meant to have. In a nutshell, any music fitting for the radio couldn't be dubbed punk rock If you ask me. No offense, Green Day, your music's good, however it is not punk rock.

I'm putting webpages together on botox, It's feels all a bit nip tuck. My job rocks, one day it's personality tests the next it's Perlane injections. Anyway here what i've completed, here. Whole thing seems slightly strange to me, what it actually is totally relax certain muscles, if the muscle had no use, we would not have them!! It seems dubious practice in my opinion. Like all the other treatments suggesting I give it a go with no charge, however I'm constantly saying no (5 years from now it will probable be a different situation).

Bobby your gay.

2006-08-20T18:46:00.000Z

House wifes Punk!

I rooted out my Green Day's american idiot CD and found myself thinking exactly the same thing I always think when I listen to them. When Green Day was just an authentic punk band, I still had not heard from them, however I purchased their Dookie CD. I was fond of this CD, which was their very first with a music company. I've always felt that they weren't awfully punk rock. Since I haven't ever heard their work from per the release of Dookie, I cannot seriously say I know how they used to sound. Nonetheless, the music I have heard from the group isn't Punk Music to me. I am sure I know, they have kept the instruments to a minimum, the singing is nasally, and many of the song lyrics are incredible angry. Punk Music needs to have all 3 of these in it. If these three guidelines are all is required met to be punk, next Slim Shady should be a punk rock superstar.

The way I see it, Green Day's music does not qualify for punk. The 'American Idiot' album is proof of this. This CD is in my CD collection and I do like listening to it occasionally. But, it sounds sod all like what I think of when I think punk rock. When I imagine punk, I imagine Vice Creems, the Jolt, Dead Kennedies, and the Sex Pistols. These bands have the fast tempos and the raging lyrics that I love loads. After all, the radio does not routinely play a song that is exceedingly punk! Green Day, you make good music, nevertheless you certainly are not punk rockers anymore!

I am putting webpages together on botox, It's feels all a bit nip tuck. It's so strange getting into the correct mind set I don't awfully know that much regarding girly stuff like laser hair removal, microdermabrasion and cosmetic surgery. But see what I have got to work with on the botox page. Whole thing seems slightly peculiar to me, what it actually send muscle into a 6 month sleep, if the muscle had no use, we would not have them!! It seems dodgy practice in my opinion. Sharon suggested I give it a go, I changed the topic quickly , again.

A homeless musician is one without a girlfriend. � D Barry

2006-07-18T14:26:00.001Z

Fluffy Punk.

I was listening to the 'American Idiot' CD by Green Day and felt myself feeling the same I invariably do when I listen to that band. I didn't know about with Green Day when they were still an underground punk band, except I did purchase Dookie when it hit the market. This was the debut CD the band put out for a mainstream crowd, and I liked it. Yet, being named as a punk rock band has never rung well with me. I have never listened to any of Green Day's music from before Dookie, so I exceedingly can not say how they orginally sounded. What I do understand is that majority of their songs does not meet my definition of punk rock. Yep, it is anger ridden, the instrumentation is minimal, and the vocals are nasally. Punk Music needs to have all 3 of these in it. Yet, if this is all there's to punk rock, then Eminem could be considered a punk rock rocker.

The way I see it, Green Day's music couldn't be dubbed punk rock. The 'American Idiot' album incredibly drives this fact home. I do own this CD and I hear it now and again.

You can not rebel with Ad breaks!

However, when I do, it isn't because I would like to listen to punk-music. If I want to listen to Punk Music, I have Red Letters, Cane, Bullets, or Intravein to listen to. This way, I get to enjoy the super fast tempos and can't believe he went there! Song lyrics I've come to expect from Punk Music. After all, the radio doesn't routinely play a song that is awfully punk! It is time to face facts, Green Day's music might be enjoyable, but it is mainstream, not punk rock.

They got me doing more stuff to e-shot today!! Please for god sake, it is finished, it excellent take off it alone! I was under the impression I'd finished, but no then somebody dream up another way we can improve it.
Take a look at the finished thing; Now i've got a brand new project! Tony just wants to upgrade it so far he can justify buying a even more stupid server!!! Damm technology junkie!! god knows what were going to get it to do now. I do not think, I'm not going to be put on the fantastic incredible fun project they keep using as a carrot on a stick. Not that I am bitter.

Now looking for investment property, do this look any good!

2006-07-18T14:26:00.000Z

Crikey!

If System of the Down's Mezmerize still hasn't found a spot in your album collection, it's time for you to make a spot for it. I've liked these lads considering I first heard them when they were the opening act for Slayer back in 1998. They still had not released their self-titled debut album at this point, nevertheless I could not wait for it to come out. When it was finally came out, I was not disgruntled.

Their next CD, Toxicity, earned the band a great deal of commercial victory. I thought this CD was very good . I wasn't quite therefore ecstatic with the third release (Steal this CD), since I thought the group was going soft. Quite potentially their best album, Mezmerize finally achieves all that System has been capable of musically achieving. Don't panic, Mezmerize still includes that same unique sound you expect from System of a Down. The sound is taken to the next level, nevertheless, with really fast tempos and dark and heavy guitar. Naturally, be sure to read the song lyrics on this CD. A few of the songs, like B.Y.O.B., just seem like fun-loving party tracks when hear them first. In actuality, the songs provide scathing political commentaries . Sod all less was going to be expected from System CD.

One of my old babies has got a lot of attention lately. First4hips the online home information pack solution. The underlining concept was always easy by the end of this year, a home information pack is going to become a legal requirement to sell your house. First4hips makes it all easy, the pack can be produce in no time at all, if all the required information is available to hand. Now that it's finished, got to work on telling people about it.

Give me a laundry list and I'll set it to music - G Rossini

2006-07-06T21:25:00.000Z

Time to find a new singer.

I went out to a boozer with the guys last night. Somebody had told us we needed to check out this cool band would be doing a show. Normally, this guy is clued up, so we decided we would go see the band in action. I was thinking my night would be awesome when I first walked in. I mean, it's simple to inform as soon as you stroll in if the audience is into the same type of music your into.

Well, I could tell this was my kind of crowd, not a some Pussy cat girls wannabes or country music fans. Not only that, the music was roaring and there were some cool death metal guitar riffs going on. Then, the singer begun in and my night-time was over. This lads just begun screeching, like that's all there is to this style of music. It annoys me when they do that. Screaming certainly has it's function in this type of music, therefore do not think I'm getting old or something. But, god dammit, there is an art to it! In fact, I have respect for the lads who can get it right considering it isn't something just anyone can do. It is vital for the singer to have control over his singing and know just how and when to scream out the lyrics. Therefore to any bands out there, make sure you get someone highly skilled in the art of screaming in your band, or go the screeching out!

Also, Iu2019ll all be glad to know it%u2019s finished!Coffee pointMusic 1%.

What is too silly to be said can be sung - P Beumarchais

2006-02-21T01:23:00.000Z

The spirit of punk!

AHH PUNK! A bunch of us went to Punk Karaoke yesterday at Upstairs at The Garage in Highbury . It's like a concert but your the singer (for only one song though). So you can sing with a excellent punk band. It is on fortnightly, but come early it is very popular!

They play two sets, including your faorite old school punk and new school song given a punk egde. You don't even need to know the song that well they have a hidden autocue. I swear it is the most fun night of punk you can have!

But you have to be fucking brave, all the singing are damm good not like down your local sunday night karaoke where just about anyone can murder a bad rendition of some 'Backstreet Boys' crap. Most the people who go up are really good I swear a lot of them actually sing in punk bands. My favorite bit were Dave ruining 'Town Called Malice' and Colin doing 'Sunday Girl'. Punk is NOT dead!

To end with some cool stuff I've been amusing myself with. Just a quick Kudos to Brigit who runs a Wildlife reserve all by herself. A friend of mine, Katie has been redesigning court house clinics website. have a looks see what you think.

Bye-Bye

2006-02-08T16:59:00.000Z

I'm missing the nineties!! Which of these ring a bell?

Impulse body spray!

Girls actually fancied Gary Barlow more than Robbie Williams

Hooch Alcoholic Lemonade (I loved that stuff?!)

Sharkie & George were the crimebusters of the sea.

Mr Motivator (What ever happened to him?)

Girls thought Blue Mascara was cool!

Running on the spot dancing!

Bumbags and shellsuits!

10p Space Raiders Crisps!!

Dodgy Pop Not Dodgy Presenting! PJ and Duncan not Ant and Dec!

What about various killer stuff I found by reading other blogs. He's a shamless plug for a company that we work with coffee vending machines. Here is a interesting one. I've started to write about something called Home information packs! HIPS

Hay the Simpsons is on, I'm outta here.

2006-01-20T18:01:00.000Z

A-ha

THIS IS GOING TO BE AMAZING!! I just got told the great 'A-HA' are doing a small gig the next week!!! I can't wait!! The A-Haa frenzy is driving Beth and I slightly mental. I am SOOO LUCKY!! No way I'm working now, too excited. I waste some hoilday all just so I can get in fornt of everyone else - if it possible. It's going to be incredible. So after this gig I will have gone to 5 a-Ha concerts. The first time I heard a-Ha when I was about 9, It didn't seem possible I would ever see them, never mind see them multiple times. ROCK!!!! A-Ha Rock like the big one.

Now for some cool sites I found on my travels. Jamie from the big US of A has asked me to plug his american real estate site, check it out. I think the goign live date for my latest site modern Cleo is nearly here:

But now I must go.

2006-01-18T21:30:00.000Z

Comic strip A.L.P.

Have a gander at this site. An online cartoon called Alien Loves Predator written by Bernie Hou. It's micky take on the Predator and Aliens films. The idea is instead of disemboweling each other in the comic they great pals. The star characters are Abe the Alien (impulsive, sex starve and socially inept) and Preston the Predator who usually plays the straight man.

Other character include Zeev, Jesus and Abe's Mother. My favorite bit is the point all they have done is used their own figures.

Here is some other cool sites I have been looking at. Are you a fan of golf try out this poor internet golf game. A friend of mine, Kate has been rebuilding court house clinics website. have a looks see what you think.

Bye-Bye

2006-01-13T17:42:00.000Z

Take a look at microsoft new offering!

I've got this email in my spam folder. I'm not sure who is disturbuting it, it appears to be a sneak preview of Longhorn microsoft new offering.

They are putting Longhorn forward as a major Windows release by Microsoft, and new versions are deep in the process of being user tested. Some of those builds leaked to the Internet, which has caused stirs in enthusiants world wide. Have a look a some screen shots and see what you think.

Some more close up shots:

This is an early beta build and may not bear that much resemblance to Longhorn when it is released. Well, a database-based file system, integrated DVD burning, major UI work and lots more are still to come.

Now for some groovy sites I have been looking at. Does anyone want a free gmail invite? I have been doing some work recently on this website: court house clinics. What do you think?

And it goodbye from me and goodbye from er me.

2006-01-07T17:59:00.000Z

STUFF ON MY CAT

This is my latest find, the website stuff on my cat!

I think there is something about cats that makes them so fun to abuse. So this website is built purely as a show case for it. Their is such a range of photos that even cat haters will enjoy it.

Last but not least some new sites I found whilst surfing. My mate Dave has quit his job as a chef and is now working for first4sale a online estate agent, check it out. A quick plug for a website I have done some work with recently court house cosmetic surgery.

And this is me signing off!!

2006-01-05T22:49:00.000Z

My new diet: Frogs

I've just finished a strange book recommend to my by Alex the crazy museo in the wooden hut at the back of the garden. Strange really, it's a kind of a stoner's motivational business book. It does have a strange charm to it though, usually I can't read this type of thing.

The basic concept is very simple it uses the frog as a metaphor for unpleasant work, so the most painful the certain task is, the bigger and more ugly the frog is, the harder it would be to bring your to eat. The main idea is simple, if as soon as you get up is start eatting the biggest and wartiest frog you have avaliable everything else that day is going to go a lot better.

The book contains 21 simple rules. All the rules, just cicle around the main premise and help you eat the frogs. I really enjoyed the book.

What about various webs offerings using the old googster. Does anyone want a free gmail invite? This is my mates site that he designed to help you sell your house

Oh well.

2006-01-02T23:10:00.000Z

Happy 2006.

Well happy New Year!! I now no longer have to party!! Which is fantasic, I have spent all my time either celebrating or recovering from celebrating. It was my sister 30th birthday just between Christmas and New Years. This meant that pretty much from December the 1st to the begining of this year I have been pretty much celebrating anything.

My body is going into shock, if I just smell alcohol my body wretchs and I get the same reaction to party poppers. So now I'm detoxing , so I will be giving my body a rest. However the only problem is that my sister want to celebrate for the whole month of January!!

Here is some other cool websites I found whilst surfing. Michal has started a website for her Jewish speeddating in London have a look. Persently I doing a logo for a site called modern cleo but the site isn't up yet, I guess it will be at www.moderncleo.co.uk but I can't confirm yet.

Hope you're not feeling too bored. Bye

Outgoing Links, good or bad for PR.

2005-12-31T11:48:00.000Z

I managed to get caught up in a rather painful discussion in a forum about if outgoing links reduce the amount of Page Rank on your site. Now this debate went on for quite a while just going over the same points again and again a guy called chrishirst refused to admit he was wrong, must have been hard to admit your wrong to a seemingly newbi. He was resovled that:

The calculation is for incoming links to page A. the outgoing links on page A are not factored into the calculations so they cannot have even the slightest effect on the value.

If you read the thread here, you will see how the discussion went. The discussion was crazy, even though I (nixies@yahoo.co) had defeated every one of his points he still couldn't bring himself to admit the possiblity their may be a outside chance he hadn't understood the equation.

The discussion was stuck on this point; He could not make sense of how if the equation was based on incoming links how could outgoing links reduce the amount og Page Rank.

We beat around the bush for a long time, I tried to exaplin the way the equation worked.

There are a few things that need to be understood when figuring out how google calulates page rank:

The green bar shown on the toolbar is just a label given to a page depending on the group that the actual page rank falls into.
Each time the calculation is done it is done from scratch; no prior Page rank is worked in the equation.
The equation is repeated multiple times.
The calculation is done for each individual page not site.

This is how I like to think of the calulation. Bear in mind this is a simplification (and if you want to go into specific details it is wrong).

At the begining of the equation each index page is given a value of 1; part of the pagerank is given as a vote which is devided between all the pages that it links point to. So a new page rank is calulated. This bit everyone agrees on, pagerank is made up of vote from your inbound links.

This is where it gets tricky, the equation is repeated a least 40 times, so the pervious pagerank that has been gain on pervious calulation can be passed on. The Calulation is repeated lots of times. So because your vote is devided between the pages that you have links to, if you link to pages that are voting for you then in the next calculation (vote) you are going to get more back than if you have linked elsewhere.

So that is the main point if you link out of your own website, to a site that does not link back. The pagerank is not coming back to your site so you are going to drain/leak/lose pagerank.

What effect page rank has on how well your site is ranked? That is a much more complicated question.

To end with some fantasic stuff I have been procrastinate with! Design your own comedy Aprons! Here is a interesting one. I've started to write about something called Home information packs! HIPS

But now I must go.

2005-12-25T22:23:00.000Z

Xmas Telly

Christmas Telly was boring as hell, usually christmas day is the one that you can rely on for good stuff. The main delights of today where Coronation Street, Simpsons and Eastenders. As you can see a once in a life time treat (Sarcasm).

However their was a exception �Doctor Who' Christmas special. David Tennant was staring in the role as Dr Who, I was worried he was going to be terrible at the begining he was a little wooden however he really came into his own at the end, in the last confertantion he was flawless.

Now for some webs offerings I found whilst surfing. He's a shamless plug for a company that we work with coffee vending machines. Every fancied getting some plastic surgery done? Check out these guys here

And it goodbye from me and goodbye from er me.

2005-12-21T16:14:00.000Z

Bring back Bender!!!

A recent interview with Mr Groaning and David X. Cohen. Has brought up the suggestion that they might have commissioned of the previously cancelled Futurama.

"3 months ago, I would have said we were going to start tomorrow" says writer David X Cohen. "And 1 month ago I would also have said we were going to start tomorrow. So ... My current estimate is that we're starting tomorrow."

The series was cancelled after 5 seasons because the television run of the show was rather unsuccessful, however the DVD sales was a completely different situation they were so huge that their was a cry to recommission even if it was just for the DVD sales. The last episode "The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings" was left at a odd point it suggested that Fry had finally managed to get together with Leela. This meaning that the two primary characters had finally got together and the story was complete. However it was not that straight forward and would probable just be ignored to make a sequel.

What about various cool websites I've been amusing myself with. Here's a forum I have been hanging around in. This is the latest property job I have been working on H.I.P.S. (Home information packs!! they will become compulsary by law in two years).

Hope you're not feeling too bored. Bye

2005-12-18T16:03:00.000Z

Booshing it on the cheap!

I have just been informed that the Mighty Mighty Boosh are putting on a show in the centre of London. And the crazy thing is the price, only eight pounds that plain maddess what are they a charity?. They should be gettign twice that at least, that walking around money not boosh money. It's insulting, I can't pay so little I will turn up kicking and shouting and force a wad of fifties into the till. I will not be undercharged.

Here is some other fantasic stuff I found whilst surfing. Does anyone want a free gmail invite? Persently I doing a logo for a site called modern cleo but the site isn't up yet, I guess it will be at www.moderncleo.co.uk but I can't confirm yet.

And it goodbye from me and goodbye from er me.

2005-12-16T10:33:00.000Z

Dating site photos!

I have been routing through my photo album trying to get hold of a picture of me looking handsome to put on a online dating site. I'm not sure which one to use though I have cropped it down to two but I don't know which one the ladies will think is the most hottest.What do you think?

or the ladies have got to love this one

Nah I'm just kidding, I alway look fantasic It doesn't matter.

I know you've all been waiting for the cool websites I've been amusing myself with. I have another stupid but addictive game, it's called ALAIS it's a strange combination of mouse plus keyboard, try it. Every fancied getting some plastic surgery done? Check out these guys here

Anyway I'm off to run away and join the circus.

2005-12-16T00:43:00.000Z

Random Soho Jazz club

The 'date' is now over, I can't say it started off on the best foot. She turned up 30 minutes late I thought this was going to be a bad sign. I was worry that she didn't really like me and was just going along with it because it was easier than saying go away, and beign 30 minutes late was a pretty good indercation that she didn't really care. The evening did start off slow she went in to talk over drive, and she can talk to the point you just can't get a word in so thats how it started.

But things did change as the night drew in (Night it was suppose to be lunch). But we relaxed and thing start to become more easy. I gt the brus off went I tried to kiss her in the coffee house. But we went to a jazz concert and when it went on we started hugging and kissing.

Then after I walked her to her bus, she kissed me. Now that is a good sign.

I know you've all been waiting for the killer sites I found. Here is a selection of the worst short stories you have ever seen, they don't promise to be anything else, but can be quite amusing. Have you heard about the grovement new latest scheme for home buyers? Home information packs! Have a look.

Anyway I'm off to run away and join the circus.

2005-12-10T23:13:00.000Z

Bang she's back!

Quick update on my love life, A couple of weeks ago I met this girl and was very impressed by her she was very cool. Now I went through hell trying to get back in touch with her when in the end I got to her friend Abby she told me in no uncertain terms that I should leave her alone. that was all I needed, I know when to quit, I could get on with my life.

So I got on with my life, went to see some friends in a show after the show I went to the pub for a drink and BANG she was their! Just standing around chatting to a bunch of people that she didn't really know, No apparent reason, Abby wasn't even their and she was the only reason that Tara knew that lot.

I totally though she didn't want anythign to do with me. I played it cool, too cool think I pissed her off. When we left I wasn't going to let her go this time, I made damm sure I got her phoen number. So to get to the point, we have a date on wednesday!!!!.

What about various cool stuff I stumbled across. Here are some crazy funny dogs. Every fancied getting some plastic surgery done? Check out these guys here

That all I got, leave me alone.

Tara

2005-12-05T17:34:00.000Z

Okay this I hate, I've kissed this woman. I have no reason to feel ashamed. She was beautiful and funny. Now I get this sometimes. I enjoy being single, I've alway seen myself as this free spirit and just want to have fun. I always feel confined in a relationship, I don't have time for all my mates at the moment and more hobbies/interests than their are hours in the day.

My point is I am content to remain single, but on the rare occassion I meet a woman who is just so wonderful and from then on their is nothing I can do. I just can't keep my mind on anything else. I has happened to me two times before, Josie and Molly. I went really mad over them. Now I can feel it again a pain in my heart, I hate it, I just want it to stop. I have just started to get my life together.

Now for some cool sites I found by reading other blogs. Another plug for a friend of mine, he makes really quality oak doors. Have you heard about the grovement new latest scheme for home buyers? Home information packs! Have a look.

Oh well.

BAck street boys are back!!

2005-11-14T09:48:00.000Z

Bloody hell take a look at this. It is a clip of 2 Chinese students miming along to back street boys song ‘I want it that way’. It really quite amazing they are even occasinally in time with the music. The thing that really makes me chuckle is their mate trying to ignore them.

See for yourself!

To end with some fantasic stuff using the old googster. We have all be planning to go on mass to a speed dating thing and we stubbled across this what do you think? Michal has started a website for her Jewish speeddating in London have a look.

Hay the Simpsons is on, I'm outta here.

Maybe we should have waited!

2005-10-27T07:16:00.000Z

The open session is tonight. I did invite people after the last show we had However I wasn't very persuasive. With any luck Tom will turn up but I'm positive that Kerry will come.We haven't really planned the session, Which is very silly but it's forgivable after our first performance.

My Sis's Halloween party

2005-10-24T14:52:00.000Z

Well Lou, Liz and frazer are converting their happy home into the Bates Motel so we can praise our lord satan and get drunk in the name of Halloween! I can't wait! Me, Johnny and Beth are all thinking of going. but god knows what we will wear. I might do something from the undead range, maybe a Vampire, Ghost or a Zombie. We may even coordinate, that way we wouldnt need to think that much. I love dressing up, however I often over do it, it very common at the moment, to throw fancy dress parties where everyone come dressed as a weather man or someone off daytime telly that I've never heard of and then I turn up on fire and I get thrown out.

The green room is open.

2005-10-18T10:05:00.000Z

Well I have sent out a email to all the group saying what I did in my pervious post and weirdly they all kinda agreed or kept stum. Diane said:

“We never anticipated mini-shrimplings banging down our door clamouring to join the gang”

We haven't got everyoe opinion yet but we will discuss this tonight. The main reason I'm beign such a pain I want them to care, If she joins or not is less important but just letting her join because it is a the path of least resistance is pathetic.

Still got my daily dose of webrubbish.

lil' emo fetus!

Just to complete your day how about some new sites I've been amusing myself with. Here is a selection of the worst short stories you have ever seen, they don't promise to be anything else, but can be quite amusing. This is what we used for the promotion of shrimp rocket a mate of mine does the Textile printing at supreme creations.

But now I must go.

Being the bad guy!

2005-10-17T16:17:00.000Z

A friend of mine has asked to become a member of our improvisation group. Okay, everyone has said that it's okay with them and so everybody is waiting for my apporaval this is the problem. It is not fine with anyone, they want me to be the person who makes the dicious if she can join or not because none of them want to be the bad cop.
I'm not really sure what to do, I've already told them that Sam can't join. Now Valeria has technically been in shrimp rocket before and pervious to the point where I have joined. . I don't know if she is the best thing for the group. the thing is we can only really have one more person join the group so who every they end up being really need to fulfill our requirements, the problem is Valeria does not, she plays the same role as Richard they are kinda of supporting characters.

Anyway onto silliness.

"My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic."
- Spike Milligan
I know you've all been waiting for the cool sites using the old googster. Are you a fan of golf try out this poor internet golf game. Oooo why not suprise your mum with a birthday Tea Towels? Nothing says I love you like a tea towel!
Well I bored! Think I'll go eat something.

Cannabis related to heart attacks

2005-09-27T23:09:00.000Z

Well apperently Health professionals have managed to find some solid evidence that cannabis can actually damage your health. In a recent study doctors have linked taking marijuana to chest problems and strokes!

Now it has taken them long enought. People have been trying to find believeable evidence against it for years and they just keep bumbling into reasons why it's healthy for you. Reduces tension and is a fantastic pain reducer. People have been using marijuana as medicine for thousands of years,

Personally I don't care that much. I don't have to option to smoke it anymore. I haven't stopped because of legal issues or medical scares but because it kills me creatively and I can't afford to be spaced out for a week any more .

Anyway onto silliness.

" A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking."'
- Tommy Cooper

I know you've all been waiting for the webs offerings using the old googster. This is what we used for the promotion of shrimp rocket a mate of mine does the Textile printing at supreme creations. I have another stupid but addictive game, it's called ALAIS it's a strange combination of mouse plus keyboard, try it.

Until next time. I leave you with a tear in my eye.

My photoshop angel

2005-09-16T00:08:00.000Z

Today I've been playing with my adobe products. I noticed this jpeg whilst surfing and have been playing around using the built in filters. Soem of the stuff you can do is fantasic.

Not sure if this work it's the plastic coating effect.

Okay this was done for a laught:

Fun with the pastel effect.

To end with some groovy sites I've been amusing myself with. Does anyone want a free gmail invite? My mate Dave has quit his job as a pasta chef and is now working for first4sale a online estate agent, check it out.

Serving Alchole Soba!!

2005-09-10T11:47:00.000Z

Now I have the delight of working the bar at a marriage for Aquila catering services. This is a mixed blessing, I am good at my job, but It's a painful one, but I can't stand being a subordinate. Last time I did it, I hated it these were a low down on my favorite parts:

Watching people eat for three hours.

Getting hit on by a 20 stone 7 foot drunk giant.

Not being allowed to stick my head in the choclate fountain.

Getting groped until I had to start screaming rape!

But you haven't poped by to hear me drone on.

I love what I got out of they fight crime today:

He's a time-tossed flyboy sorceror who knows the secret of the alien
invasion. She's a disco-crazy paranoid socialite operating on the wrong side
of the law. They fight crime!

Here is some other webs offerings I found on my travels. Here is a selection of the worst short stories you have ever seen, they don't promise to be anything else, but can be quite amusing. Design your own comedy Aprons!

And this is me signing off!!

We are having email problems!

2005-09-08T11:12:00.000Z

Today I continued what seems to be my sempiternal wrestle with The email kettle of fish. Now I have been trying to get an microsoft access program to talk to outlook. At first this looked like a great plan, however I have been held up by a issue now for 3 weeks and it's making me mad. A mate of mine Juzo who is helping me but I really think his patience is flagging.
But I've still had time to look at rubbish on the net.

"In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife."
- Spike Milligan

Here is some other killer sites I found. Are you a Art fan, have a look at this huge collection of painting of still life. Oooo why not suprise your mum with a birthday Tea Towels? Nothing says I love you like a tea towel!
Anyway I must go work or something.

Thoughs on comedy.

2005-02-04T14:43:00.000Z

I have a revelation about standup a couple of days ago... (I have them every other day and they are far from relolutionary)

RULE No. 8745.6
Always have an appartantly more obvious motivation than to make people laught.
I don't know if this is obvious but I have spotted what seems like a revalation, I've seen loads of people do it but it a question of dedication and throwing yourself into. As soon as your main motivation is to make them laught that becomes directly what the audience will be judging you on and will interlenclise (use the consious mind) it. It kinda backs up the idea that the less the comedian wants your laughter the easier it is to get.

Examples:
Bill Hicks: Wanted to attack the system.
Flight of the concords: Want to chat to each other.
(ermm I'm scrapping the bottom of the barrell here)

The person I was wacthing when I hit the revalation was Paul Foot doing a (appartently)improvised sketch about NOT fancying one of his friends. The joke was, he was so heavely denying that he didn't fancy his friend that he obviosuly did, he constantly went back to the point. In practice it went on far too long with no real substance to the joke, whilst he failed to get he audience invovled in some improvised sketchs. But for what was basically a one joke improvised sketch it was quite impressive. I've seen Paul do some fantasic stuff in his time. I got a lot of respect.

After this I come up with a sketch to test it out in the purist of forms. I shall write more later.

1st of Febuary

2005-02-01T11:35:00.000Z

Hi This is my first Post on what will hopefully be a roughly daily blog, this blog should be all about my exploites in the london comedy and pretty much non-existant impro scene.

Little about myself.

I am part of a impro group called Shrimp Rocket clever eh. Not my idea...
Their is persently 6 of us I think, I'm not sure I have a tendancy to take it all to damm seriously and offend people to the point where they leave. The group damm good some real talent, I'm very proud of it, if only we could tidy it up we may go to edinburgh this year.

I'm also a amature stand-up, it more of a self punishment that a exscapism but i'm not smart enought to give up. The majority of this blogg will just be me noting down material I have come up with and ideas for impro, plus review of comedian I see and have deconstructed, I do a lot of deconstructing, it's really frustrating, but I can't help myself. Ow the title comes from the uni paper I did.